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Substance Abuse
My independent adult son is not who he wants us to believe he is
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<blockquote data-quote="CLJ" data-source="post: 618417" data-attributes="member: 17622"><p>Here's the deal in a nutshell me and my husband (dad) are at a loss....My son was a thriving young man in school. His senior year a lot of stuff happened in his personal life that got him depressed. (childhood lifelong friend, cheated with my son's first love girlfriend) We tried counseling he went about 4 times, he said it helped and he was fine and no longer went. He moved out with 5 newly made friends at 19, he is 22 now, has held a good job and supports himself, but dropped out of college his first year. (we didn't support this at first, cause we knew working fulltime, living on your own and taking full credits in college was going to be a struggle) well needless to say our fear happened he dropped school and has since been working full time and struggling to get by financially but somehow doesn't ask us for money "outright" and always pays his car insurance and cell phone bill to us faithfully monthly. Amongst all the 3 years he has been on his own, he has changed immensely when it comes to being around us and his sister. I could go on and on writing here and tell you the whole story but here's the deal after a argument we got on on christmas that just didn't set well with my "mother's intuition" so I struggled with not doing something invasive but I did it anyway.....I still had his passwords from when he was younger and we made social media accts.....I hacked into his facebook and discovered he lives a total different life than he wants us to think. He is smoking butane hash oil and also dealing it......we are so upset but very pro active parents and just at a loss as to how to approach our son that we know what he is doing without him knowing about us invading his privacy. Please Heeeeelp!!! There is just so much more to this story but the bottom line is, we love him so much and can't continue being supportive in other ways that would enable this behavior but don't know how to approach this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CLJ, post: 618417, member: 17622"] Here's the deal in a nutshell me and my husband (dad) are at a loss....My son was a thriving young man in school. His senior year a lot of stuff happened in his personal life that got him depressed. (childhood lifelong friend, cheated with my son's first love girlfriend) We tried counseling he went about 4 times, he said it helped and he was fine and no longer went. He moved out with 5 newly made friends at 19, he is 22 now, has held a good job and supports himself, but dropped out of college his first year. (we didn't support this at first, cause we knew working fulltime, living on your own and taking full credits in college was going to be a struggle) well needless to say our fear happened he dropped school and has since been working full time and struggling to get by financially but somehow doesn't ask us for money "outright" and always pays his car insurance and cell phone bill to us faithfully monthly. Amongst all the 3 years he has been on his own, he has changed immensely when it comes to being around us and his sister. I could go on and on writing here and tell you the whole story but here's the deal after a argument we got on on christmas that just didn't set well with my "mother's intuition" so I struggled with not doing something invasive but I did it anyway.....I still had his passwords from when he was younger and we made social media accts.....I hacked into his facebook and discovered he lives a total different life than he wants us to think. He is smoking butane hash oil and also dealing it......we are so upset but very pro active parents and just at a loss as to how to approach our son that we know what he is doing without him knowing about us invading his privacy. Please Heeeeelp!!! There is just so much more to this story but the bottom line is, we love him so much and can't continue being supportive in other ways that would enable this behavior but don't know how to approach this. [/QUOTE]
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My independent adult son is not who he wants us to believe he is
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