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Substance Abuse
My independent adult son is not who he wants us to believe he is
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 618456" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If he uses it every day, if it is affecting his life, if he can't live without it, if his life has been put on hold because he has lost his motivation, if he is not growing up as he should be...it is affecting him. I am of the mindset that some adults can smoke pot once in a while, like maybe four times a month and it's a lot like alcohol. But alcohol is not ok for some people who are sensitive to it and become alcoholics. Drug abuse tendencies do run in families...you are far more likely to engage in addictive behavior if it is in your family. And the verdict isn't in yet on whether pot does or doesn't harm you. I do know many pot smokers also like "legal pot" such as spice. Spice is actually way dangerous as are some of the chemicals put into regular pot.</p><p></p><p>You have to also face the fact that he may be using more than just smoking pot, although daily pot use is bad enough. We thought our daughter was only a pot smoker. After she quit, she told us all about her entire usage and i was in shock and asked myself how i hadn't known. Well, she did the more dangerous drugs at night while we were sleeping. Your son is living with five like-minded peers who probably don't just stick to pot. At the very least, he could also have alcohol issues. But my daughter was using psychodelics, meth, cocaine, ADHD drugs (they are coveted on the streets and the kids put them in pillcrushers and crush them then snort them, either alone or with other drugs) and she abused dangerous legal drugs too.</p><p></p><p>As soon as we found out about her smoking cigarettes, we cut off the money. That habit was not something we wanted to fund. We couldn't stop her from smoking, but we could stop it in our house and we didn't have to pay for it. Soon after we learned about the pot as she was busted. For her, tough love worked. She is not using now and even quit smoking cigarettes. it does not work for every kid, but we as parents don't have to contribute to our own child's self-destruction by being afraid our kid's won't like us if we cut off the money tree. </p><p></p><p>your son has been out of high school and not in college for four years already. You shouldn't need to support him at all. if you do need to, it is because he hasn't gotten his act together, probably because of the drugs, and I personally feel it is best to let him sink until he wants to stop his lifestyle and swim again. There is no way he will make that decision if you are afraid to tick him off and therefore continue to fund his lifestyle.</p><p></p><p>More hugs. I remember weeks i did nothing but cry, and I was sure my daughter was lost to me or would end up dead. But the best thing happened. She decided to quit. it was all her own decision. unfortunately, drug users who are psychologically addicted to anything or addicts are the same...they do not quit their habits unless they are highly motivated to do so and they have to take this walk alone. We can give them emotional support for good choices, but we can't do it for them. it has to come from their hearts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 618456, member: 1550"] If he uses it every day, if it is affecting his life, if he can't live without it, if his life has been put on hold because he has lost his motivation, if he is not growing up as he should be...it is affecting him. I am of the mindset that some adults can smoke pot once in a while, like maybe four times a month and it's a lot like alcohol. But alcohol is not ok for some people who are sensitive to it and become alcoholics. Drug abuse tendencies do run in families...you are far more likely to engage in addictive behavior if it is in your family. And the verdict isn't in yet on whether pot does or doesn't harm you. I do know many pot smokers also like "legal pot" such as spice. Spice is actually way dangerous as are some of the chemicals put into regular pot. You have to also face the fact that he may be using more than just smoking pot, although daily pot use is bad enough. We thought our daughter was only a pot smoker. After she quit, she told us all about her entire usage and i was in shock and asked myself how i hadn't known. Well, she did the more dangerous drugs at night while we were sleeping. Your son is living with five like-minded peers who probably don't just stick to pot. At the very least, he could also have alcohol issues. But my daughter was using psychodelics, meth, cocaine, ADHD drugs (they are coveted on the streets and the kids put them in pillcrushers and crush them then snort them, either alone or with other drugs) and she abused dangerous legal drugs too. As soon as we found out about her smoking cigarettes, we cut off the money. That habit was not something we wanted to fund. We couldn't stop her from smoking, but we could stop it in our house and we didn't have to pay for it. Soon after we learned about the pot as she was busted. For her, tough love worked. She is not using now and even quit smoking cigarettes. it does not work for every kid, but we as parents don't have to contribute to our own child's self-destruction by being afraid our kid's won't like us if we cut off the money tree. your son has been out of high school and not in college for four years already. You shouldn't need to support him at all. if you do need to, it is because he hasn't gotten his act together, probably because of the drugs, and I personally feel it is best to let him sink until he wants to stop his lifestyle and swim again. There is no way he will make that decision if you are afraid to tick him off and therefore continue to fund his lifestyle. More hugs. I remember weeks i did nothing but cry, and I was sure my daughter was lost to me or would end up dead. But the best thing happened. She decided to quit. it was all her own decision. unfortunately, drug users who are psychologically addicted to anything or addicts are the same...they do not quit their habits unless they are highly motivated to do so and they have to take this walk alone. We can give them emotional support for good choices, but we can't do it for them. it has to come from their hearts. [/QUOTE]
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My independent adult son is not who he wants us to believe he is
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