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Substance Abuse
My independent adult son is not who he wants us to believe he is
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 618516" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>What he is doing is not about you. </p><p>What he is doing is not about you.</p><p>What he is doing is not about you.</p><p>It's really, really not.</p><p></p><p>It's not about anything you did or didn't do. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. (It's called the 3Cs).</p><p></p><p>As I told my older son (easy child 27yo, master's degree, mature young man), I was going to have to learn how to STOP being your hands-on mama anyway, so this thing with difficult child plunged me into it fast. </p><p></p><p>Instead of having to learn to let go over the next 15 years, I'm learning it fast.</p><p></p><p>We did the best we could, raising them. We weren't perfect, there is NO perfect. We made mistakes, we didn't give them every tool they will need, and our parents didn't give us every tool we needed either. </p><p></p><p>I know your mommy heart is hurting and you're raking the past, yourself and your husband over the coals, and that is normal. But when you're through with that for a while, remember, you did the best job you knew how to do, and now it's up to him. </p><p></p><p>Let him go. Let him make the mistakes he needs to make to find himself in this world. It's not going to be pretty, but with God's help, at the end of it all, he and you will be better people for it. That is my prayer for you tonight (and for all of us).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 618516, member: 17542"] What he is doing is not about you. What he is doing is not about you. What he is doing is not about you. It's really, really not. It's not about anything you did or didn't do. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. (It's called the 3Cs). As I told my older son (easy child 27yo, master's degree, mature young man), I was going to have to learn how to STOP being your hands-on mama anyway, so this thing with difficult child plunged me into it fast. Instead of having to learn to let go over the next 15 years, I'm learning it fast. We did the best we could, raising them. We weren't perfect, there is NO perfect. We made mistakes, we didn't give them every tool they will need, and our parents didn't give us every tool we needed either. I know your mommy heart is hurting and you're raking the past, yourself and your husband over the coals, and that is normal. But when you're through with that for a while, remember, you did the best job you knew how to do, and now it's up to him. Let him go. Let him make the mistakes he needs to make to find himself in this world. It's not going to be pretty, but with God's help, at the end of it all, he and you will be better people for it. That is my prayer for you tonight (and for all of us). [/QUOTE]
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My independent adult son is not who he wants us to believe he is
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