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Substance Abuse
My independent adult son is not who he wants us to believe he is
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<blockquote data-quote="CLJ" data-source="post: 618703" data-attributes="member: 17622"><p>That's what is most disturbing, the fact that it was hard enough letting him go and telling myself "these feelings are normal and they shall pass,he is growing up." Then I would be told that we did such a great job with our son, "he is such a fine young man and you should be proud that you raised him to go out and be independent" lol whatever! Life went on for the last 3 years and lot's of transitions for my husband and myself adjusting to an empty nest. But I somehow never got over that something just doesn't feel right....it's like I knew he wouldn't want to be around us much, (that actually started when he lived at home) which too is normal. I went along always having this feeling inside of me that I felt he just wasn't ready and my parenting wasn't done just yet....</p><p>Thanks for the article on Co dependency....it's like I have known this all along and have been through therapy in hopes to not bring things from my dysfunctional up bringing into my own family.....My husband is co dependent as well, and that's why I want to blame him for my sons issues because my husband denied it for so many years (hence my anger towards him) What I don't get is, if us parents aren't to blame for our kids choices they make; If we r who teach them and are their role models and if we are co dependent,then it was our duty to raise them not to be?(therefore take care of the co dependency before)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CLJ, post: 618703, member: 17622"] That's what is most disturbing, the fact that it was hard enough letting him go and telling myself "these feelings are normal and they shall pass,he is growing up." Then I would be told that we did such a great job with our son, "he is such a fine young man and you should be proud that you raised him to go out and be independent" lol whatever! Life went on for the last 3 years and lot's of transitions for my husband and myself adjusting to an empty nest. But I somehow never got over that something just doesn't feel right....it's like I knew he wouldn't want to be around us much, (that actually started when he lived at home) which too is normal. I went along always having this feeling inside of me that I felt he just wasn't ready and my parenting wasn't done just yet.... Thanks for the article on Co dependency....it's like I have known this all along and have been through therapy in hopes to not bring things from my dysfunctional up bringing into my own family.....My husband is co dependent as well, and that's why I want to blame him for my sons issues because my husband denied it for so many years (hence my anger towards him) What I don't get is, if us parents aren't to blame for our kids choices they make; If we r who teach them and are their role models and if we are co dependent,then it was our duty to raise them not to be?(therefore take care of the co dependency before) [/QUOTE]
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My independent adult son is not who he wants us to believe he is
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