I believe I have posted before, that my position has been outsourced. Not to mention that the company I work for (20 miles away) is a very LARGE company. Several parks in the area I work, but in the park I work at there are 14000 employees. And they chose to outsource the mainframe computer. Which affects 4 operators and about ten other associates who support the mainframe. Unfortunately the company has not even tried to absorb us in other areas. So...my options are... Take the severence and be on their payroll until the fall, then unemployment. (expected end date of employment is June 18) OR take a position with the outsourcing company which is 62+ miles from my house on the interstate one way. Did the interview, haven't heard money offer, and their insurance sucks. No mental health. That portion is combined with the medical, which of course difficult child's doctor is not on it. husband's insurance is just as bad, but he DOES have mental health. OK...I have been so stressed. husband won't tell me anything. No input. Says my decision. OK, if I don't take the job, and fall comes around, unemployment just isn't going to pay the bills. Mainframe work just isn't around and I would have to drive regardless. I make decent money and don't expect as much from the new company, but we'll see. Job offers on Thursday. They only work 3 days a week. Or should I say nights, as that is what they are hiring. 7pm - 7am. But on the plus side, they only work three days a week. Either Sunday, Monday Tuesday, or Thursday, friday, Saturday. I prefer the end of the week. That way if I choose this, I would leave my house Thursday afternoon and return home Sunday morning. husband would be home with difficult child. Well, almost. difficult child would be home on Friday's in the summer. If I chose not to take the job, I would be stressed, nervous...every single day not knowing what will happen when the severence ran out. Been through the unemployment thing, bankrupcy thing. It is pretty scary not knowing how you are going to eat. This is by far the hardest decision I ever had to make. But it looks as if I HAVE to take the job and just look for something closer while I have a job. Atleast we'll still have a house. Less fighting with difficult child I assume. But I am scared. SO scared. Nobody even realizes. My car is 5 years old and has 110K miles on it. Now if I drove to and from this new job everyday it would be 130+ miles a day. My sister lives 8 miles from this company so I planned on leaving home thursday afternoon, sleeping at my sisters two days and coming home on Sunday morning. Too bad I haven't talked to this sister in two years. Exactly to this date. Two years ago today was my mothers funeral, and this sister did something I just cannot seem to forgive or get past. If I don't take the job and we lose our house and everything we have it will be ALL MY FAULT. I don't want this job. I don't want to drive or be away. I cry every day. I spend all my time either in my room crying or at work. Others are taking vacation now so I am filling in. I am terrified and really have nobody to talk to. I tried weighing the pro's and con's...but it always comes out to taking the job..I just don't get it. Things were not suppose to be this hard. Not at this point in my life. sigh. Right now, and for the past few weeks the people from the other company sit next to me and breathe down my neck for 12 hours a day. And I am suppose to show them what I do. Not an easy task. I understand this decision has come from much higher up and these people are only doing what they are told to do...but it doesn't make it any easier. Well, difficult child and I are participating in a 5K walk this morning to benefit the family of one of his teachers who passed away in December. Then it is off to work to cover for someone on vacation. Tomorrow is my Birthday so I denied working. Don't know if I should of gone to work tomorrow or not. Hoping my family atleast takes me to dinner. sorry so long. It has been a very stressful few months, with more to come I am sure. I don't even want to crawl out of my room anymore. It is just to hard. Too hard to face the challenges. Or maybe I am just too scared. I don't know.