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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 581709" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I *think* I managed to insist upon the POAs without sending her spiraling. I think it helped greatly that we've been talking on this subject for quite a while to begin with. (it's just wise at her age overall) </p><p></p><p>I did have to resort to telling her why it was necessary for it to be at the TOP of her to do list and not under the "when I get around to it" category. Mom is not stupid, it didn't take her by surprise, although she was a little surprise about how blatantly he's going about it. It did however, add to the hurt and pain caused by the whole trip to Texas deal. I advised her to talk with some of her elderly friends or to a pastor she trusts to be referred to a dependable lawyer (if you knew where I'm from, you'd know why) and to have it done immediately. She asked if I wanted to do both.......I said I have no issue with medical POA, but I'd only do the finances if there is no one else she trusts. The whole idea of managing someone else's money gives me the heebie geebies. </p><p></p><p>We had a frank discussion as only her and I can do. I told her in no uncertain terms would I push, prod, guilt, manipulate, or force her to come here to ohio. Even if she did decide to come, it would be up to her to decide if it was for a short or long duration. She can stay with me or rent somewhere or whatever. Up to her. </p><p></p><p>Mom wants out of Illinois, Period. The whole thing with Texas sealed the deal for her. She said she'd like to rent a room from me. I told her again she is always welcome and rent isn't necessary. All I have to do is shift rooms around again and return the actual living room back into a 3rd bedroom as it was before Nichole left home. Not much of an issue. </p><p></p><p>I was stunned to discover that she had made at some point sis in Texas' husband her POA. I nearly fell out of the chair. I'm guessing this happened after her last husband died a few years ago. That is why I had to stress to her she <strong>had</strong> to go get it changed <strong>immediately</strong>. It disturbed me further to discover she's been sending him copies of account balances for her retirement funds and CDs ect ect. I don't understand what he could've told her to get her to do that. I know it's not necessary at all. brother in law was mother in law's POA for years and he never had a clue what funds she had until she needed him to step up and handle the finances. Oh, mother in law would probably given him a rounded figure had he asked, but he would've never thought to ask her such a thing. If mom had made sis in Texas her POA, that would've made sense. Sis is no more concerned with mom's funds than I am. But her husband is another matter unto himself.....and I am majorly POed they manipulated her into such an arrangement. But it wasn't until mom stayed there that she came to realize what I've been telling her for years is true........sis in texas husband spends money he doesn't have determined to keep up with his perception of the Joneses. They're nearly always on the verge of losing everything. (sis had told me this years and years ago) </p><p></p><p>All I can do is do the best I can to help mom protect herself. I did tell her that if she needed me to come help her with the POAs that I'd find a way to get there. But she still has to find a lawyer she feels comfortable with and feels she can trust to write it up. </p><p></p><p>This is actually why I prefer to be poor. All money does is spawn greed in it's many forms. ugh Makes me sick to my stomach.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 581709, member: 84"] I *think* I managed to insist upon the POAs without sending her spiraling. I think it helped greatly that we've been talking on this subject for quite a while to begin with. (it's just wise at her age overall) I did have to resort to telling her why it was necessary for it to be at the TOP of her to do list and not under the "when I get around to it" category. Mom is not stupid, it didn't take her by surprise, although she was a little surprise about how blatantly he's going about it. It did however, add to the hurt and pain caused by the whole trip to Texas deal. I advised her to talk with some of her elderly friends or to a pastor she trusts to be referred to a dependable lawyer (if you knew where I'm from, you'd know why) and to have it done immediately. She asked if I wanted to do both.......I said I have no issue with medical POA, but I'd only do the finances if there is no one else she trusts. The whole idea of managing someone else's money gives me the heebie geebies. We had a frank discussion as only her and I can do. I told her in no uncertain terms would I push, prod, guilt, manipulate, or force her to come here to ohio. Even if she did decide to come, it would be up to her to decide if it was for a short or long duration. She can stay with me or rent somewhere or whatever. Up to her. Mom wants out of Illinois, Period. The whole thing with Texas sealed the deal for her. She said she'd like to rent a room from me. I told her again she is always welcome and rent isn't necessary. All I have to do is shift rooms around again and return the actual living room back into a 3rd bedroom as it was before Nichole left home. Not much of an issue. I was stunned to discover that she had made at some point sis in Texas' husband her POA. I nearly fell out of the chair. I'm guessing this happened after her last husband died a few years ago. That is why I had to stress to her she [B]had[/B] to go get it changed [B]immediately[/B]. It disturbed me further to discover she's been sending him copies of account balances for her retirement funds and CDs ect ect. I don't understand what he could've told her to get her to do that. I know it's not necessary at all. brother in law was mother in law's POA for years and he never had a clue what funds she had until she needed him to step up and handle the finances. Oh, mother in law would probably given him a rounded figure had he asked, but he would've never thought to ask her such a thing. If mom had made sis in Texas her POA, that would've made sense. Sis is no more concerned with mom's funds than I am. But her husband is another matter unto himself.....and I am majorly POed they manipulated her into such an arrangement. But it wasn't until mom stayed there that she came to realize what I've been telling her for years is true........sis in texas husband spends money he doesn't have determined to keep up with his perception of the Joneses. They're nearly always on the verge of losing everything. (sis had told me this years and years ago) All I can do is do the best I can to help mom protect herself. I did tell her that if she needed me to come help her with the POAs that I'd find a way to get there. But she still has to find a lawyer she feels comfortable with and feels she can trust to write it up. This is actually why I prefer to be poor. All money does is spawn greed in it's many forms. ugh Makes me sick to my stomach. [/QUOTE]
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