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The Watercooler
My mother...again....(LONG)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 378271" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>"Then how do I "let" her, push her or whatever else it takes for her to keep on going?"</p><p> </p><p>I kindly suggest stop fuling her fire and giving her power over you. You get email, hit the delete button without even opening it. You get letters, cards, write on it return to sender. Don;t calll, don't give a forwarding address, change your phone number. You can try and explain yourself or waste good brain energy trying to figure out why she is like she is till you are blue in the face - she won't hear what you are telling her and you will never understand the way she parented you.</p><p> </p><p>So she starts a bunch of koi - over what exactly? If you haven't corresponded with her, talked to her on the phone, sent her emails, whats to start. If someone in the system starts questioning you if she does try and start some koi, you can honestly say "I have no clue as to what she is talking about - I haven't had any contact with her whatsoever as we have a toxic relationship - end of story. You don't have to defend yourself or try and explain, because that only serves to keep her drama going.</p><p> </p><p>There are lots of us out there that have been physically and emotionally abused and molested as children. You can't go back and change what happened. Believe me, at one point, I had so much emotional baggage I could have easily filled a couple of 747's. It took me a while in therapy to deal with it, and un-stunt my emotional growth. Now I can just shake my head when my mother opens her mouth and something stupid rolls out of it - am so over giving her any kind of emotional response - she has control issues and it infuriates her I refuse to go there anymore and let her bait me.</p><p> </p><p>Marcie.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 378271, member: 47"] "Then how do I "let" her, push her or whatever else it takes for her to keep on going?" I kindly suggest stop fuling her fire and giving her power over you. You get email, hit the delete button without even opening it. You get letters, cards, write on it return to sender. Don;t calll, don't give a forwarding address, change your phone number. You can try and explain yourself or waste good brain energy trying to figure out why she is like she is till you are blue in the face - she won't hear what you are telling her and you will never understand the way she parented you. So she starts a bunch of koi - over what exactly? If you haven't corresponded with her, talked to her on the phone, sent her emails, whats to start. If someone in the system starts questioning you if she does try and start some koi, you can honestly say "I have no clue as to what she is talking about - I haven't had any contact with her whatsoever as we have a toxic relationship - end of story. You don't have to defend yourself or try and explain, because that only serves to keep her drama going. There are lots of us out there that have been physically and emotionally abused and molested as children. You can't go back and change what happened. Believe me, at one point, I had so much emotional baggage I could have easily filled a couple of 747's. It took me a while in therapy to deal with it, and un-stunt my emotional growth. Now I can just shake my head when my mother opens her mouth and something stupid rolls out of it - am so over giving her any kind of emotional response - she has control issues and it infuriates her I refuse to go there anymore and let her bait me. Marcie. [/QUOTE]
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My mother...again....(LONG)
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