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The Watercooler
My mother...again....(LONG)
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 378502" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>klmno - </p><p> </p><p>Hon - I think (just my opinion as your friend FWIW) people like your Mom are toxic. I understand the logic behind wanting to see how she manipulates your son BELIEVE ME I DO (remember the letter i had to write for Dude to his bio Grandmother and Dad? Yeah -it worked) So I get that. But I also know that you CAN tell her to bugger off, mean it, and be done with her. You CAN write her a similar letter telling her to BACK OFF. Until he's 18 or maybe even 21 you have that right. I know, I was up against the KLAN...who spouted way more support and money and attorneys and people in government than I EVER knew or could hope to work five jobs and know - and won, and I wrote the letter. Me....alone - myself. It ended it in a matter of weeks, didn't drag on - didn't complicate my life......and now? Now Dude is 20......his life and relationship with his biodad and bio relations is as I KNEW it would be. Living hell doesn't begin to describe it. I wasn't sure what way that would go - but after 18? It's NOT OUR LIFE. It becomes theirs and their choices, their decisions, their problems. It took me and has taken so much of me to be able to say that because all of the last 15 years of my life with Dude have been about keeping him FROM them. And then d.a. goes and runs right to them. (well show of hands who didn't think he would?) .........and same with your son - he might just go run right to Granny - and she might fill his head with a bunch of manure - but you know what? You raised your son - HE KNOWS you love him, he KNOWS you meant well, and he KNOWS you did the best you could and by the same token? HE WILL KNOW in a short span of time - that Gma is full of as much manure as a fertilizer plant and he will make his own choice to leave her alone just like you and he'll let you know. It may be something as simple as a text message - but klmno - it will happen. When it does you can sit and exhale, and cry, or just shake your head that THE SUM of ALL your fears of years gone by, the present and all your future worries - were for nothing and you spent all this time worrying about a very bitter old woman - and a brother who is worthless, for nothing because in the end you will find out - you raised a very, intelligent and insightful son who LOVES YOU. </p><p> </p><p>I hope you understand just what I'm trying to tell you in this. Arms length with this woman? No. Marcie Mac gave you the straight skinny here - and man -------I wish I had the ability to just lay it out like that - but she's right. The woman you call Mother never Mothered you - she is toxic. Walk away....live the rest of your life for you....and tell her to stay away from your son and mean it. What will happen in a few years will happen. Until it does? Live. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 378502, member: 4964"] klmno - Hon - I think (just my opinion as your friend FWIW) people like your Mom are toxic. I understand the logic behind wanting to see how she manipulates your son BELIEVE ME I DO (remember the letter i had to write for Dude to his bio Grandmother and Dad? Yeah -it worked) So I get that. But I also know that you CAN tell her to bugger off, mean it, and be done with her. You CAN write her a similar letter telling her to BACK OFF. Until he's 18 or maybe even 21 you have that right. I know, I was up against the KLAN...who spouted way more support and money and attorneys and people in government than I EVER knew or could hope to work five jobs and know - and won, and I wrote the letter. Me....alone - myself. It ended it in a matter of weeks, didn't drag on - didn't complicate my life......and now? Now Dude is 20......his life and relationship with his biodad and bio relations is as I KNEW it would be. Living hell doesn't begin to describe it. I wasn't sure what way that would go - but after 18? It's NOT OUR LIFE. It becomes theirs and their choices, their decisions, their problems. It took me and has taken so much of me to be able to say that because all of the last 15 years of my life with Dude have been about keeping him FROM them. And then d.a. goes and runs right to them. (well show of hands who didn't think he would?) .........and same with your son - he might just go run right to Granny - and she might fill his head with a bunch of manure - but you know what? You raised your son - HE KNOWS you love him, he KNOWS you meant well, and he KNOWS you did the best you could and by the same token? HE WILL KNOW in a short span of time - that Gma is full of as much manure as a fertilizer plant and he will make his own choice to leave her alone just like you and he'll let you know. It may be something as simple as a text message - but klmno - it will happen. When it does you can sit and exhale, and cry, or just shake your head that THE SUM of ALL your fears of years gone by, the present and all your future worries - were for nothing and you spent all this time worrying about a very bitter old woman - and a brother who is worthless, for nothing because in the end you will find out - you raised a very, intelligent and insightful son who LOVES YOU. I hope you understand just what I'm trying to tell you in this. Arms length with this woman? No. Marcie Mac gave you the straight skinny here - and man -------I wish I had the ability to just lay it out like that - but she's right. The woman you call Mother never Mothered you - she is toxic. Walk away....live the rest of your life for you....and tell her to stay away from your son and mean it. What will happen in a few years will happen. Until it does? Live. Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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