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My Mother Really Stinks!
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<blockquote data-quote="1 Day At a Time" data-source="post: 105473" data-attributes="member: 3704"><p>Meowbunny, I'm so sorry that you are caught up in this situation. The holidays always seem to bring focus to our relationships that are less than ideal.</p><p></p><p>I loved the comparison of Mothers and Mommies.It fits in my life! My Mom has had little or no interest in my sons, her only grandchildren, since their births. She never played with them, asked about them, rarely visited them, and could only briefly tolerate their presence in her home. Several years ago I came to the conclusion that she likes the idea of her family more than the reality of her family.</p><p></p><p>It breaks my heart to see my dear sons visiting with her, and she never once asks them about themselves or about what is happening with them. She literally knows nothing about them, and really doesn't care to know. Trust me, this isn't a difficult child issue at all. Interestingly enough, they accept this situation much more readily than I do. I guess it is all that they have ever known.</p><p></p><p>I cope with this by erecting the boundaries that I need to protect myself and my family. Since I am an only child, I give my aging mother the respect, attention, and care that she is due. I attend to her emotional needs, medical needs and safety needs. We have periodic brief visits and she is always attended to during the holidays. We all sit and talk about her subjects , eat a nice dinner, watch a movie, and call it a day. It's caring, but minimal contact. I feel sad for my sons, though - I had a wonderful relationship with my grandmother, and it was very life enriching!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1 Day At a Time, post: 105473, member: 3704"] Meowbunny, I'm so sorry that you are caught up in this situation. The holidays always seem to bring focus to our relationships that are less than ideal. I loved the comparison of Mothers and Mommies.It fits in my life! My Mom has had little or no interest in my sons, her only grandchildren, since their births. She never played with them, asked about them, rarely visited them, and could only briefly tolerate their presence in her home. Several years ago I came to the conclusion that she likes the idea of her family more than the reality of her family. It breaks my heart to see my dear sons visiting with her, and she never once asks them about themselves or about what is happening with them. She literally knows nothing about them, and really doesn't care to know. Trust me, this isn't a difficult child issue at all. Interestingly enough, they accept this situation much more readily than I do. I guess it is all that they have ever known. I cope with this by erecting the boundaries that I need to protect myself and my family. Since I am an only child, I give my aging mother the respect, attention, and care that she is due. I attend to her emotional needs, medical needs and safety needs. We have periodic brief visits and she is always attended to during the holidays. We all sit and talk about her subjects , eat a nice dinner, watch a movie, and call it a day. It's caring, but minimal contact. I feel sad for my sons, though - I had a wonderful relationship with my grandmother, and it was very life enriching! [/QUOTE]
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