My son has changed :-)

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by lovemyson1, Mar 14, 2015.

  1. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    :beautifulthing:I have seen the biggest change ever in my son. God has changed him. He doesn't even talk about coming home anymore. He wants to go with the ministry and tell other young people about his life and how God changed it. It's been 17 days. He doesn't even want anything to do with his old life. He said he doesn't have cravings or any desire to use. He won't even use curse language. This place has been amazing for him. It's not even a rehab, it's a place for men to go when they want to change their lives. Men come from all over the country. It's sponsored by the church. It's been such a blessing to me to see my son healthy again, positive about his life and future. Just wanted to share in my happiness. For today, I celebrate and praise God. I am still cautious of the future, but I know I have no control of that. Thanks for letting me celebrate with you all!
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  2. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    God is great!!! Just got back from family counseling with my daughter...I share in your joy! My daughter still has work to do but she is there doing it and she is in it for the long haul. ♡
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    ??? !!!!!!
    Wow. I'd like to sit in on one of those to find out how it works. Not only the religious part, but the connection between the men. Powerful.
    I am hoping that he continues to be clean and on a strong road to the future.
    One day at a time. :)
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ok, don't want to be cynical and if he keeps it up, that's great. But don't get too excited yet. Seventeen days is very young in this recovery process. Give him a year and see how he does. We did not trust our daughter when she quit until a few years after being clean because we know relapse is common. Fortunately, it turned out to be true...about her third try.

    I'm glad that for now things are better and I hope t hey stay that way.
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  5. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I' m glad to hear things are better and I do hope it lasts. Praying for you.
  6. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    I agree you definitely need to be cautiously optimistic. My experience is that at various times my son has seemed to have an epiphany or something and really seems to get it and i hope he has changed.... and then something happens and he reverts back to old behaviors. At the same time though I think those things he learns along the way really are true and are there.... there are just many sides of an addict.
  7. Childofmine

    Childofmine one day at a time

    This is so promising and I hope he continues to make progress. You can now breathe again. What a relief for the knot in our stomachs to be gone for a while. My son is better too right now.

    I am cautiously optimistic and am working hard to be very careful about how I respond to him. I am continuing to practice healthy boundaries with him.

    For example, on Saturday he texted me a picture of his arm. It was bleeding. He was at work and he said the table saw "got him." Doing that is part of his old "shock and awe" behavior. I used to react loudly and emotionally to this type of thing. This time I texted, looks like that hurts. Then he texted back yes I have been accident prone for the past couple of months. I said sounds like it.

    That is all. No mommy stuff. How are you? Are you leaving work? Are you gojng to the hospital? None of that.

    People usually do not do a 180 turn overnight. The person still has many of their own behaviors that usually will resurface. In AA they talk about the pink glow of early sobriety. It's like the feeling you have when you first fall in love. That passes in time as we know.

    The point is not to take away one single thing from your sons positive experience and steps forward. A spiritual awakening is a wonderful thing and is a great foundation for ongoing sobriety.

    My son is working full time plus and paying his own bills. He is sweet and kind. He is dealing with problems. Our interactions are positive. But he has a long way to go.

    I am trying to keep my head on straight about that and realize there is no instant fix. For any of us in life.

    Life is messy and chaotic and filled with back and forth, error and resolution.

    Keep on taking care of you and practicing detachment with love and freedom from enabling. If you continue your own forward progress, you free up more space and time and distance for him to do the same.
  8. Origami

    Origami Active Member

    Lovemyson1, that's great news that your son is having some positive changes. Like the other posters, I hope it "sticks" and that this is the start of a new life for him. I know you understand that your optimism must be tempered with reality, but any step forward is a reason for celebration in my opinion!
  9. Rina

    Rina Member

    I'm really happy you're seeing positive changes. I hope he'll be able to keep it up in the outside world as well. I've been told that the real test is when they come out of rehab - if he reaches out for support on his own, then you'll know it's for real. It seems like he's off to a good start, though. :)
  10. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    It's true Rina, the true test will be when he's out. I'm glad he's in no hurry to leave because I believe the longer he's there the stronger he will be. My faith is in God. I sure appreciate everyone's kind responses, thank you!
  11. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    That sounds promising!
  12. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    Just an update. He had some temptation in the house he's at. A few guys offered him free drugs. He wanted to leave but we told him that when he's out he will have temptation to use again and he needs to be strong and get even stronger to deal with his temptations. We told him to resist and stay. That was almost a week ago and he sent us a letter and said he's glad he stayed cus he is getting stronger and he knows God is helping him. I'm so proud of him and proud of us for not "rescuing" him. 36 days today :)
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  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    That was my star. I would have given him ten stars, if possible. That was awesome; very courageous of your son and very good advice from you.
  14. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    Thank you Somewhere! We want him to make and keep a 6 month commitment and he agreed. The longer he's there the more tools he'll learn to deal with addiction & life outside. Appreciate the support!
  15. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    LMS1, of course you have all of our support. I love happy stories and hope God works with him to help him heal. He sounds like a good young man who has a bad disease and he can beat it! He sure has a lot of cheerleaders.
  16. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    My son continues to be doing so well! He looks so good! The words that come out of his mouth are respectful, caring.. True change. He's been thinking of others much more than himself such a change. I called the counselor yesterday who had referred him to where's he's at to give him a heartfelt thank you and he was touched. My son tells me that he's tired of working so hard, gets up at 5:30 am every day and works til 5 or so, then chores and bible reading, devotions etc. but he says he will stay til God tells him what to do next. I'm so thankful, relieved and hopeful now.
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  17. Rina

    Rina Member

    I'm really happy to hear that. He's been able to resist the temptation so far and that's great. I love these stories that have a happy ending. Keep us updated!
  18. Childofmine

    Childofmine one day at a time

    Grear news! I am so glad.
  19. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    Amazing news. I'm so optimistic!
  20. lovemyson1

    lovemyson1 Active Member

    Me too!!!!