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General Parenting
My son is apparently gone ...
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 396616"><p>I think it is a fine line between chasing them and letting them know you still love them. I think especially with kids who were adopted, there are often big abandonment issues you don't want to play into. In our case we kicked our son out and my initital thought was we would wait for him to contact us, and my therapist pointed out he probably would not. So we did text him, we let him know we cared about him but at the same time making it clear he could not come home. So he kept in touch some and did call us when he got arrested .... the first time he called we said oh that is too bad but did not bail him out. So I agree don't chase him but I think you can not chase him and still let him know you care.</p><p></p><p>I don't know what would have happened with our son if we had not kept in touch. He did end up getting in a heap of trouble when he was not living at home, we were not real sympathetic although when he did get sent to jail we did step in and get him a lawyer... who is wonderful and the end result was a plea bargain with a suspended sentence and him being sent to rehab which is exactly what he needed. And he agreed to go and it was ultimately his decision not ours. I think if he had ended up in jail, with a court appointed attorney and him feeling totally abandoned by us it might have been a total lost cause. I just don't know.</p><p></p><p>Everyones kid is different and you know your kid better than we do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 396616"] I think it is a fine line between chasing them and letting them know you still love them. I think especially with kids who were adopted, there are often big abandonment issues you don't want to play into. In our case we kicked our son out and my initital thought was we would wait for him to contact us, and my therapist pointed out he probably would not. So we did text him, we let him know we cared about him but at the same time making it clear he could not come home. So he kept in touch some and did call us when he got arrested .... the first time he called we said oh that is too bad but did not bail him out. So I agree don't chase him but I think you can not chase him and still let him know you care. I don't know what would have happened with our son if we had not kept in touch. He did end up getting in a heap of trouble when he was not living at home, we were not real sympathetic although when he did get sent to jail we did step in and get him a lawyer... who is wonderful and the end result was a plea bargain with a suspended sentence and him being sent to rehab which is exactly what he needed. And he agreed to go and it was ultimately his decision not ours. I think if he had ended up in jail, with a court appointed attorney and him feeling totally abandoned by us it might have been a total lost cause. I just don't know. Everyones kid is different and you know your kid better than we do. [/QUOTE]
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My son is apparently gone ...
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