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My son is in a crisis unit. Voluntarily, I think.
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<blockquote data-quote="rebelson" data-source="post: 695011" data-attributes="member: 19966"><p>This may be a good option? Or, could you inform them that you will be part-time vs. full-time? Instead of 'per diem', as you mentioned? I think that you keeping busy is key here. I think that, from the way you speak, that you will be very disappointed in yourself if you significantly decrease your work hours. There has to be a middle ground, right? </p><p></p><p>Yes, I completely understand this. I was such a tender, sensitive person. Still sensitive, but less...and the tenderness gets a bit tougher as I age. Just from life, cruel people - I have had my fair share of them. I was too tender for my own good. As a young nurse, some MD's were very harsh. Some could easily send me in to the bathroom (I hid from them, my upset) to cry silent tears. That is just one example. Though still tender, I am tougher now, I got tired of it. It seems you feel you get weaker as you age. <u>Could you turn that weakness into anger?</u> Somehow, like I need to do where d c is concerned. Turn my weakness, worry for him, for his safety/welfare/addiction, more into '<em>'this is his life, you cannot make his choices for him...let it go.'</em>' Not so much anger, per se', but detachment from the worry, from the elusive control. </p><p></p><p>Yes, and I agree. This is what I did, after years of suffering at work. I became semi-angry, tougher. With that, I believe came <em>a bit </em>more respect for me, from those certain nastier, egotistic MD's. As I got into my 30's, I realized that strong, judgmental ppl do not respect those who are tender, sensitive, like myself. They can, and do, easily bully those like us. My mother in law was one of those, who railroaded me. It gives them some type of satisfaction, for, what I believe, is a low self-esteem.</p><p></p><p>I understand this. It can be maddening, can't it? When they have the right path right in front of them...even saying they will take it. But then, bam! They for some reason, choose the wrong one....AGAIN. I think this happens as a result of immaturity and fear. But, we cannot control this. It is their choice to make. They will have to feel the bumps in the road from their bad choices, in order for them to change. My son does this too. And, it has been easy for me, to become angry at him. But, I am tired. Now, I just calmly tell him that that was a poor choice and give him my opinion on how to go forward. If he takes my advice, then good. If not, he will be the one to ultimately feel the repercussion. </p><p></p><p>I may be completely wrong, but I think your son feels like he's done a lot to try and please you and M. I feel like he has come to a standstill as to what he more he can do or cannot continue to do, to please you. I feel like he has reached a point of real frustration. Frustration that he is 'lacking' in the ability to do more, frustration that he has disappointed you and frustration that he now is likely waiting for you to kick him out. So, he chooses to go and hide in the woods. Perhaps that is 'peaceful' to him. Nature IS peaceful. I feel a real sort of tranquility, when I am out in nature. Even if it's in my back yard, on my hammock, near the boundary line of the woods. </p><p></p><p>Nature, the woods, may be his 'respite'. And, maybe he also feels like 'you' need a break from him. </p><p></p><p>Has he returned?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rebelson, post: 695011, member: 19966"] This may be a good option? Or, could you inform them that you will be part-time vs. full-time? Instead of 'per diem', as you mentioned? I think that you keeping busy is key here. I think that, from the way you speak, that you will be very disappointed in yourself if you significantly decrease your work hours. There has to be a middle ground, right? Yes, I completely understand this. I was such a tender, sensitive person. Still sensitive, but less...and the tenderness gets a bit tougher as I age. Just from life, cruel people - I have had my fair share of them. I was too tender for my own good. As a young nurse, some MD's were very harsh. Some could easily send me in to the bathroom (I hid from them, my upset) to cry silent tears. That is just one example. Though still tender, I am tougher now, I got tired of it. It seems you feel you get weaker as you age. [U]Could you turn that weakness into anger?[/U] Somehow, like I need to do where d c is concerned. Turn my weakness, worry for him, for his safety/welfare/addiction, more into '[I]'this is his life, you cannot make his choices for him...let it go.'[/I]' Not so much anger, per se', but detachment from the worry, from the elusive control. Yes, and I agree. This is what I did, after years of suffering at work. I became semi-angry, tougher. With that, I believe came [I]a bit [/I]more respect for me, from those certain nastier, egotistic MD's. As I got into my 30's, I realized that strong, judgmental ppl do not respect those who are tender, sensitive, like myself. They can, and do, easily bully those like us. My mother in law was one of those, who railroaded me. It gives them some type of satisfaction, for, what I believe, is a low self-esteem. I understand this. It can be maddening, can't it? When they have the right path right in front of them...even saying they will take it. But then, bam! They for some reason, choose the wrong one....AGAIN. I think this happens as a result of immaturity and fear. But, we cannot control this. It is their choice to make. They will have to feel the bumps in the road from their bad choices, in order for them to change. My son does this too. And, it has been easy for me, to become angry at him. But, I am tired. Now, I just calmly tell him that that was a poor choice and give him my opinion on how to go forward. If he takes my advice, then good. If not, he will be the one to ultimately feel the repercussion. I may be completely wrong, but I think your son feels like he's done a lot to try and please you and M. I feel like he has come to a standstill as to what he more he can do or cannot continue to do, to please you. I feel like he has reached a point of real frustration. Frustration that he is 'lacking' in the ability to do more, frustration that he has disappointed you and frustration that he now is likely waiting for you to kick him out. So, he chooses to go and hide in the woods. Perhaps that is 'peaceful' to him. Nature IS peaceful. I feel a real sort of tranquility, when I am out in nature. Even if it's in my back yard, on my hammock, near the boundary line of the woods. Nature, the woods, may be his 'respite'. And, maybe he also feels like 'you' need a break from him. Has he returned? [/QUOTE]
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My son is in a crisis unit. Voluntarily, I think.
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