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My son is in the hospital
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 454448" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Many hugs. My gfgbro went to an inpatient rehab. It was truly a wonderful experience but he is the very rare person who only does rehab once and it sticks for a long time. It is part of his personality - he does NOTHING partway. It is 130% or nothing at all. This is NOT NOT NOT the normal experience. He did spend 2 weeks in jail before my parents sent him to rehab. </p><p></p><p>My advice? Turn him loose. Let him know that you love him enough to stop helping him kill himself slowly with alcohol. That if and when he is ready to truly commit to rehab and really WORK for a sober life, then you will do what you can to help. Do NOT pay for his rehab until he has proven that he wants to get clean and stay clean by going to AA meetings and getting a sponsor. You do not need rehab to kick alcohol. Millions do it with-o that. Rehab DOES help and IS a good thing if you can afford it. I am NOT NOT NOT saying rehab is bad or that it is not worthwhile. I truly believe exactly the opposite of that. BUT you son can show you he is committed to getting sober and staying sober by first going to meetings for a couple of weeks and really working the program. </p><p></p><p>Without some concrete signs that he was working on his sobriety - AA meetings, changing his friends, changing his activities, I would not give him anything else and would not allow him on any property I own. If I owned a car that he used, it would be back on my property and would be disabled and the parts locked up so that he could not use it. I would likely give him a list of shelters and maybe a super cheap pay as you go phone with a few minutes so that he can call you when he is making the efforts and is ready for rehab.</p><p></p><p>If he is on a phone plan in your name, take the phone. If he is on one in his name - it is his to pay. </p><p></p><p>Until he hits bottom he is NEVER going to get sober. bottom for him will be far far lower than anything you can comprehend. YOU and your spouse NEED alanon meetings just like difficult child needs aa. GO TO THEM. At least several a week at first. Try different times and places to see where the best fit is for you. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry that you have to face all of this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 454448, member: 1233"] Many hugs. My gfgbro went to an inpatient rehab. It was truly a wonderful experience but he is the very rare person who only does rehab once and it sticks for a long time. It is part of his personality - he does NOTHING partway. It is 130% or nothing at all. This is NOT NOT NOT the normal experience. He did spend 2 weeks in jail before my parents sent him to rehab. My advice? Turn him loose. Let him know that you love him enough to stop helping him kill himself slowly with alcohol. That if and when he is ready to truly commit to rehab and really WORK for a sober life, then you will do what you can to help. Do NOT pay for his rehab until he has proven that he wants to get clean and stay clean by going to AA meetings and getting a sponsor. You do not need rehab to kick alcohol. Millions do it with-o that. Rehab DOES help and IS a good thing if you can afford it. I am NOT NOT NOT saying rehab is bad or that it is not worthwhile. I truly believe exactly the opposite of that. BUT you son can show you he is committed to getting sober and staying sober by first going to meetings for a couple of weeks and really working the program. Without some concrete signs that he was working on his sobriety - AA meetings, changing his friends, changing his activities, I would not give him anything else and would not allow him on any property I own. If I owned a car that he used, it would be back on my property and would be disabled and the parts locked up so that he could not use it. I would likely give him a list of shelters and maybe a super cheap pay as you go phone with a few minutes so that he can call you when he is making the efforts and is ready for rehab. If he is on a phone plan in your name, take the phone. If he is on one in his name - it is his to pay. Until he hits bottom he is NEVER going to get sober. bottom for him will be far far lower than anything you can comprehend. YOU and your spouse NEED alanon meetings just like difficult child needs aa. GO TO THEM. At least several a week at first. Try different times and places to see where the best fit is for you. I am so sorry that you have to face all of this. [/QUOTE]
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