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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
My son relapsed....
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 692964" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>RN, quitting isnt a given in four months, where he was basically monitored and his environment controlled. if it were me, and I did do this, I'd make him work and buy his own car. Cars are dangerous for users and why should you reward him by paying large insurance bills that are his own fault?</p><p></p><p>if it were me, I'd also refrain from getting overly involved with any of his girlfriends. $80 flowers? Why? Let him work and buy her things. Just because she goes to a Christian school and doesn't wear makeup does not make her drug free or a good influence. She obviously isn't. She is very immature if she will do anything your son wants, including get him drugs that almost killed him. Are you one of those kind people who always wants to believe the best about people? Believe it or not, your kind heart can blind you. Its sad, but true. girlfriend knew drugs could harm him. She loves him? Really?</p><p></p><p>My advice, which could be wrong, is to take the car and let son be responsible for himself now. Youve done all you can and more. He has to want being clean more than you want it for him or he won't do it. Don't give him prizes because you think he's clean. Dont fawn over his girlfriend. If he gets clean, his prize will be good health and sobriety.</p><p></p><p>His getting clean is for him. He wont fo it for you. Let him do it himself. The relationdhip between him and girlfriend should be between them. She can't make him quit either and it doesn't seem as if she is even supporting him in this.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for your hurting heart. in my opinion you need to do the best you can to move on and stop trying to save hum. You can't. It's icky for us to accept this too. I get it. I feel for you.</p><p></p><p>Try to have a peaceful day. Let go of the outcome of your sons drug abuse. if you have a higher power, hand your son to him/her. You are a champ. it's his turn to be one. Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 692964, member: 1550"] RN, quitting isnt a given in four months, where he was basically monitored and his environment controlled. if it were me, and I did do this, I'd make him work and buy his own car. Cars are dangerous for users and why should you reward him by paying large insurance bills that are his own fault? if it were me, I'd also refrain from getting overly involved with any of his girlfriends. $80 flowers? Why? Let him work and buy her things. Just because she goes to a Christian school and doesn't wear makeup does not make her drug free or a good influence. She obviously isn't. She is very immature if she will do anything your son wants, including get him drugs that almost killed him. Are you one of those kind people who always wants to believe the best about people? Believe it or not, your kind heart can blind you. Its sad, but true. girlfriend knew drugs could harm him. She loves him? Really? My advice, which could be wrong, is to take the car and let son be responsible for himself now. Youve done all you can and more. He has to want being clean more than you want it for him or he won't do it. Don't give him prizes because you think he's clean. Dont fawn over his girlfriend. If he gets clean, his prize will be good health and sobriety. His getting clean is for him. He wont fo it for you. Let him do it himself. The relationdhip between him and girlfriend should be between them. She can't make him quit either and it doesn't seem as if she is even supporting him in this. I am so sorry for your hurting heart. in my opinion you need to do the best you can to move on and stop trying to save hum. You can't. It's icky for us to accept this too. I get it. I feel for you. Try to have a peaceful day. Let go of the outcome of your sons drug abuse. if you have a higher power, hand your son to him/her. You are a champ. it's his turn to be one. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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My son relapsed....
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