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Substance Abuse
My son relapsed....
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<blockquote data-quote="DarkwingPsyduck" data-source="post: 693132" data-attributes="member: 20267"><p>I think honesty is something mutually beneficial for the both of you. Express your disappointment, but don't let it sound like he ruined Christmas. Relapse can be very beneficial, but only when we learn from it.</p><p></p><p>Non addicts tend to believe that an addict's relapse means they just didn't want it bad enough. And that is not the case, I assure you. Nobody randomly decides "I think I'll be physically and emotionally dependent on dangerous, expensive substances that will ruin every relationship I have, as well as many of my prospects. I will hurt the people I care the most about, and I will hate myself.". If it were as simple as just wanting it, there wouldn't be drug addicts in the world. If we were capable of controlling ourselves, we would do it. The longer we are active in our addiction, the less control we have over it, or ourselves. While it may seem so simple to just NOT use, we demonstrate that it isn't the case. We don't try to relapse. We relapse when we are put into situations we cannot handle sober. We subconsciously seek these situations out, which is a real <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />er. Recovery is about regaining control over ourselves, and our addiction. We do this by cutting out all the things in our lives that got us here in the first place. We usually miss some things the first few (or dozens in my case) times we try. It is unfortunate, disappointing, bewildering, but not necessarily negative. Each relapse shows at least one thing we didn't cut out before. As long as we can learn from the experience, we will be more successful in the long run. We can do our best to avoid these toxic situation that jeopardize our recovery, but there will be times when those situation arise completely out of our control. If we understand what went wrong, we will be better equipped for round 2. </p><p></p><p>Has your son been displaying more humility, especially after this relapse? Humility is crucial if he is to truly learn from this relapse. It is an essential part of recovery.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DarkwingPsyduck, post: 693132, member: 20267"] I think honesty is something mutually beneficial for the both of you. Express your disappointment, but don't let it sound like he ruined Christmas. Relapse can be very beneficial, but only when we learn from it. Non addicts tend to believe that an addict's relapse means they just didn't want it bad enough. And that is not the case, I assure you. Nobody randomly decides "I think I'll be physically and emotionally dependent on dangerous, expensive substances that will ruin every relationship I have, as well as many of my prospects. I will hurt the people I care the most about, and I will hate myself.". If it were as simple as just wanting it, there wouldn't be drug addicts in the world. If we were capable of controlling ourselves, we would do it. The longer we are active in our addiction, the less control we have over it, or ourselves. While it may seem so simple to just NOT use, we demonstrate that it isn't the case. We don't try to relapse. We relapse when we are put into situations we cannot handle sober. We subconsciously seek these situations out, which is a real :censored2:er. Recovery is about regaining control over ourselves, and our addiction. We do this by cutting out all the things in our lives that got us here in the first place. We usually miss some things the first few (or dozens in my case) times we try. It is unfortunate, disappointing, bewildering, but not necessarily negative. Each relapse shows at least one thing we didn't cut out before. As long as we can learn from the experience, we will be more successful in the long run. We can do our best to avoid these toxic situation that jeopardize our recovery, but there will be times when those situation arise completely out of our control. If we understand what went wrong, we will be better equipped for round 2. Has your son been displaying more humility, especially after this relapse? Humility is crucial if he is to truly learn from this relapse. It is an essential part of recovery. [/QUOTE]
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My son relapsed....
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