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Substance Abuse
My son relapsed....
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 694650" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>I had a very good session with my therapist last night.</p><p></p><p>She thinks my husband going to visit is a wonderful idea for the following reasons:</p><ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Son needs to know we are there for him with boundaries. Husband already told him if he does anything stupid between now and then, he will not visit him.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Son needs to feel the love and closeness of his dad and family to remind him of what he is missing.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">A 21 birthday is an important birthday.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">My son is suffering too.</li> </ol><p>For the first time this weekend, my husband really got on my son about his drug use/abuse and what it has done to his life/our lives. He has never really done this before. Not like this. I think he has been in denial too.</p><p></p><p>Last night while at the therapist we talked about <u>self-compassion</u> when going over my core values sheet she had given me. I could have cried like a baby when she said that word - even though we have talked about it on our forum and it was the first time I had heard it - and really had to get control of my emotions so I could go on. It hit me really hard last night.</p><p></p><p>In some ways I think it could be good that the therapist and others there are coming down hard on him and so are we. I only hope that he feels enough pain to start thinking about how he needs to make some changes.</p><p></p><p>As of last night I have decided to pull away until he can be the young man that I know he can be. I will not accept anything less from him working in that direction. The next time I talk to him I will tell him this. This is something I have to do for myself because I am completely overwhelmed with it all right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 694650, member: 15032"] I had a very good session with my therapist last night. She thinks my husband going to visit is a wonderful idea for the following reasons: [LIST=1] [*]Son needs to know we are there for him with boundaries. Husband already told him if he does anything stupid between now and then, he will not visit him. [*]Son needs to feel the love and closeness of his dad and family to remind him of what he is missing. [*]A 21 birthday is an important birthday. [*]My son is suffering too. [/LIST] For the first time this weekend, my husband really got on my son about his drug use/abuse and what it has done to his life/our lives. He has never really done this before. Not like this. I think he has been in denial too. Last night while at the therapist we talked about [U]self-compassion[/U] when going over my core values sheet she had given me. I could have cried like a baby when she said that word - even though we have talked about it on our forum and it was the first time I had heard it - and really had to get control of my emotions so I could go on. It hit me really hard last night. In some ways I think it could be good that the therapist and others there are coming down hard on him and so are we. I only hope that he feels enough pain to start thinking about how he needs to make some changes. As of last night I have decided to pull away until he can be the young man that I know he can be. I will not accept anything less from him working in that direction. The next time I talk to him I will tell him this. This is something I have to do for myself because I am completely overwhelmed with it all right now. [/QUOTE]
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My son relapsed....
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