I too would be concerned about possible abuse of some kind.
Or possibly he stumbled upon something inappropriate on-line etc.
The masterbation doesn't seem too odd to me, but some of the other things are more concerning.
I agree that a professional evaluation is likely warranted.
You are doing a good job. As best as you can, keep calm and don't seem nervous or anxious and don't argue with your husband around him. I hate to say it...but you probably need to put on an academy award performance. Stick to your guns, without showing anxiety.
So very sorry. No doubt very taxing.
