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Substance Abuse
My teen is dealing drugs!
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 616421" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>This is a hard position to be in.... I dont know what you should do about the ride. I do think this confrontation is important and you do need to be prepared before hand.</p><p></p><p>I think my suggestion (but agree getting some professional help is a good idea) would be to come up with some kind of contract that spells out the rules she needs to follow to live in your house... and if she breaks those then what happens is clearly stated.. One of those options if something happens is treatment of some sort. The other option of course is that she not live with you. That way you are not just kicking her out... you are giving her a set of boundaries (reasonable ones) that she needs to follow to stay living with you. If she chooses to not follow those rules then she is choosing not to live with you. </p><p></p><p>We did that several times with my son... and of course he always broke the rules but at least then when he left, he knew it was his own doing, not that we were just uncaring parents.</p><p></p><p>It also means that if she leaves but then wants at some point to come back home, you have clearly stated what she needs to do to come home.</p><p></p><p>My other thought is that when you do confront her, be prepared to call the police if it gets really out of hand. When my son was 18 and blatantly violating our rules, I told him he had 2 weeks to show us he could follow our rules or he would have to leave. He got really nasty and threatened to bash my teeth in. At that point I left the room, cried my eyes out, collected myself and went to the police and set up a time they would come and remove my son from the house. I didnt call 911 because previously when i did that he ran and hid and had threatened to do that again. So when my son was 18 I was in a similar place that you are in right now. My son is now 22 and it got worse before it got better...... but I do live in peace in my house, my easy child daughter is doing well and I am going on with my life. And I do have a relationship with my son.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent from my iPad using ConductDisorders</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 616421, member: 15801"] This is a hard position to be in.... I dont know what you should do about the ride. I do think this confrontation is important and you do need to be prepared before hand. I think my suggestion (but agree getting some professional help is a good idea) would be to come up with some kind of contract that spells out the rules she needs to follow to live in your house... and if she breaks those then what happens is clearly stated.. One of those options if something happens is treatment of some sort. The other option of course is that she not live with you. That way you are not just kicking her out... you are giving her a set of boundaries (reasonable ones) that she needs to follow to stay living with you. If she chooses to not follow those rules then she is choosing not to live with you. We did that several times with my son... and of course he always broke the rules but at least then when he left, he knew it was his own doing, not that we were just uncaring parents. It also means that if she leaves but then wants at some point to come back home, you have clearly stated what she needs to do to come home. My other thought is that when you do confront her, be prepared to call the police if it gets really out of hand. When my son was 18 and blatantly violating our rules, I told him he had 2 weeks to show us he could follow our rules or he would have to leave. He got really nasty and threatened to bash my teeth in. At that point I left the room, cried my eyes out, collected myself and went to the police and set up a time they would come and remove my son from the house. I didnt call 911 because previously when i did that he ran and hid and had threatened to do that again. So when my son was 18 I was in a similar place that you are in right now. My son is now 22 and it got worse before it got better...... but I do live in peace in my house, my easy child daughter is doing well and I am going on with my life. And I do have a relationship with my son. TL Sent from my iPad using ConductDisorders [/QUOTE]
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My teen is dealing drugs!
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