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Substance Abuse
My teen is dealing drugs!
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 616445" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Hi Greenangel. </p><p></p><p>First I just want to say sounds like you handled it great. You stayed calm and clear which is a wonderful first step. It is probably very likely that your daughter is lying to you about only selling to friends.... she obviously has connections to get the stuff, which is scary enough. And this bit about her not trusting you is total manipulation on her part, much better to put it on you, then deal with the fact that she has completely violated your trust.</p><p></p><p>I think getting tough in this situation is a process... and we all get there in our own way. It is heart warming to read PGs post because if you go back and read her posts in the archives you will see she has been through the ringer and it is so great to hear how well her daughter is doing now. Many of us have been through this and you can see the process we have all been through if you read the archives from the last couple of years... i particular I am thinking of Nancy, Kathy, Patriotsgirl and myself (Toughlovin). We all have kids who have serious substance abuse problems and we all have had to get tough with them and I think all of us have had to tell our kids they cant live with us at one time or another. It is heartbreaking and if you go back and read you will see some of the heartbreak and desperation we have all felt. We truly do understand the pain you are in. It is the worst thing (other than death) that a parent can go through I think.</p><p></p><p>My son is currently in a long term residential program and the director recently told us at a parents support group meeting that without desperation there is no change! I think that is true. MWM daughter did do it on her own so that can happen..... but that has not been the story with my son..... and he has hit real bottom several times. Each time I hope this is it and I am still hoping. What I do know is that all I can do is let him know I love him and will always support him in gettng help. The rest is up to him.</p><p></p><p>And the bit about your daughter selling drugs because she doesnt have enough money (ie you dont give her enough) is a bunch of baloney!! I have one kid who at age 22 has only had one or two short lived jobs... and one kid who got a job as a junior in HS and kept that job through HS and now works there when home on breaks! </p><p></p><p>I think most kids who get seriously invovled in drugs get involved in dealing in some form or another. I was shocked last night to hear from my daughter that there were rumors in HS when she was a freshman that my son was dealing!!! I never knew that and was like why didnt you tell me??? Duh.... I knew he had a drug problem but didnt know that. </p><p></p><p>Bottom line you cannot trust your daughter and right now you cant believe anything she tells you about her drug use or her dealing.</p><p></p><p>Hugs I know all too well how hard this is.</p><p></p><p>TL </p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent from my iPad using ConductDisorders</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 616445, member: 15801"] Hi Greenangel. First I just want to say sounds like you handled it great. You stayed calm and clear which is a wonderful first step. It is probably very likely that your daughter is lying to you about only selling to friends.... she obviously has connections to get the stuff, which is scary enough. And this bit about her not trusting you is total manipulation on her part, much better to put it on you, then deal with the fact that she has completely violated your trust. I think getting tough in this situation is a process... and we all get there in our own way. It is heart warming to read PGs post because if you go back and read her posts in the archives you will see she has been through the ringer and it is so great to hear how well her daughter is doing now. Many of us have been through this and you can see the process we have all been through if you read the archives from the last couple of years... i particular I am thinking of Nancy, Kathy, Patriotsgirl and myself (Toughlovin). We all have kids who have serious substance abuse problems and we all have had to get tough with them and I think all of us have had to tell our kids they cant live with us at one time or another. It is heartbreaking and if you go back and read you will see some of the heartbreak and desperation we have all felt. We truly do understand the pain you are in. It is the worst thing (other than death) that a parent can go through I think. My son is currently in a long term residential program and the director recently told us at a parents support group meeting that without desperation there is no change! I think that is true. MWM daughter did do it on her own so that can happen..... but that has not been the story with my son..... and he has hit real bottom several times. Each time I hope this is it and I am still hoping. What I do know is that all I can do is let him know I love him and will always support him in gettng help. The rest is up to him. And the bit about your daughter selling drugs because she doesnt have enough money (ie you dont give her enough) is a bunch of baloney!! I have one kid who at age 22 has only had one or two short lived jobs... and one kid who got a job as a junior in HS and kept that job through HS and now works there when home on breaks! I think most kids who get seriously invovled in drugs get involved in dealing in some form or another. I was shocked last night to hear from my daughter that there were rumors in HS when she was a freshman that my son was dealing!!! I never knew that and was like why didnt you tell me??? Duh.... I knew he had a drug problem but didnt know that. Bottom line you cannot trust your daughter and right now you cant believe anything she tells you about her drug use or her dealing. Hugs I know all too well how hard this is. TL Sent from my iPad using ConductDisorders [/QUOTE]
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