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My weekend ~not so good
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<blockquote data-quote="Wonderful Family" data-source="post: 232657"><p>What a weekend, been there done that - far too often. Big hugs and all of my support. </p><p></p><p>Good for you in controlling your own temper; it so hard to do. I agree with some of the others that a medication adjustment might be necessary. Is he on any mood stabilizers? My difficult child was also initially diagnosis'd with ADHD/ODD - but he cannot touch the stimulants. The ADHD piece has mellowed some with age and mood stabilization. We are finally at a point where things like The Explosive Child finally work - it didn't work before now.</p><p></p><p>Terry's comment about making difficult child explain to friends why there are so many holes in the walls is a good one; While these things did not stop my difficult child's behavior in the end, it did get him to stop for a few seconds and think; and let me off the hook of being embarrassed and responsible. (I used to have a major problem with this). I finally got to the point where if difficult child had a fit and was late for school, that was the polite explanation that would be provided - the truth.</p><p></p><p>My only suggestion to think about would be sitting down with husband and determining what you will and will not take/do, what the minimum your difficult child must do (e.g., no hitting the walls); then put the plan in place in conjunction with your psychiatrists/therapists about next steps. Put a limit on the violence, so to speak.</p><p></p><p>One of the biggest mistakes I think we made personally with our difficult child was just trying to deal with things day-to-day and not having a real plan in place; even though we were slowly making some headway. The reality is, what little progress we were making was nothing in light of his raging moods and emotions and we could never catch up. Also, what I found personally is that I could/can take less and less of difficult child's violence over time. No clue how we survived, beyond the fact that we always do.</p><p></p><p>Interesting, what we have found now that difficult child is truly (? I always question/worry) stabilized are two things: The fall-out still on easy child and difficult child's inability to truly trust others (result of having lived so long in the fight/flight mentality?). The recovery will take a long time for everyone. I expected difficult child to be much better emotionally after he was stabilized - I was and am continually shocked to find out that this is not true and it's why I would be more aggressive on the other end now.</p><p></p><p>My two-cents; best wishes for a good day today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wonderful Family, post: 232657"] What a weekend, been there done that - far too often. Big hugs and all of my support. Good for you in controlling your own temper; it so hard to do. I agree with some of the others that a medication adjustment might be necessary. Is he on any mood stabilizers? My difficult child was also initially diagnosis'd with ADHD/ODD - but he cannot touch the stimulants. The ADHD piece has mellowed some with age and mood stabilization. We are finally at a point where things like The Explosive Child finally work - it didn't work before now. Terry's comment about making difficult child explain to friends why there are so many holes in the walls is a good one; While these things did not stop my difficult child's behavior in the end, it did get him to stop for a few seconds and think; and let me off the hook of being embarrassed and responsible. (I used to have a major problem with this). I finally got to the point where if difficult child had a fit and was late for school, that was the polite explanation that would be provided - the truth. My only suggestion to think about would be sitting down with husband and determining what you will and will not take/do, what the minimum your difficult child must do (e.g., no hitting the walls); then put the plan in place in conjunction with your psychiatrists/therapists about next steps. Put a limit on the violence, so to speak. One of the biggest mistakes I think we made personally with our difficult child was just trying to deal with things day-to-day and not having a real plan in place; even though we were slowly making some headway. The reality is, what little progress we were making was nothing in light of his raging moods and emotions and we could never catch up. Also, what I found personally is that I could/can take less and less of difficult child's violence over time. No clue how we survived, beyond the fact that we always do. Interesting, what we have found now that difficult child is truly (? I always question/worry) stabilized are two things: The fall-out still on easy child and difficult child's inability to truly trust others (result of having lived so long in the fight/flight mentality?). The recovery will take a long time for everyone. I expected difficult child to be much better emotionally after he was stabilized - I was and am continually shocked to find out that this is not true and it's why I would be more aggressive on the other end now. My two-cents; best wishes for a good day today. [/QUOTE]
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