Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My worst nightmare
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="C.J." data-source="post: 252055" data-attributes="member: 1987"><p>I did a search for NC minimum marriage age - it is 16 with parental permission, or emancipated minor, though 14 or older if a baby is involved, but a judge must provide a court order for that type of marriage to go through. </p><p></p><p>I presume you've grounded this child for his outrageous behavior, and he is ignoring your house rules and expectations. In his mind, he has replaced you as the authority figure in YOUR home. It doesn't help that the system continues to reinforce his thinking.</p><p></p><p>If it were me (and it was for a time with my difficult child), I would call the police EVERY time he walked out of your home without permission. Report him as a runaway. I also called the national runaway hotline, and the Center for Missing & Exploited Children. I made reports there, too. You would then have the documentation you WILL need when you are in a court room, a therapist's office, the school, etc. to show you did not shirk your responsibilities as a parent. </p><p></p><p>I got a business card from every cop, social worker, attorney, doctor - anyone I came into contact with regarding N*. I put the date and time on the back of the card, and a short note about what our contact was for. I have multiple cards from the same person if I saw him/her more than once. Later, I put this info on an excel spread sheet. I inserted columns for date & time, incident, what difficult child did, what I did, type of contact (school admin, police, attorney, court, juvenile detention, probation officer), outcome of contact, amount of time involved (number of hours), out of pocket costs - you get the picture. </p><p></p><p>Nobody was going to tell me I didn't try to move mountains to help my child.</p><p></p><p>Some practical suggestions for the short term - stop doing things for difficult child. Laundry for difficult child is his responsibility - he's not going to school anyway. </p><p></p><p>If difficult child wants to eat, he can make it himself. Get rid of the snack foods, soda, desserts. Get the very limited basics: Bread, peanut butter, bologna (no pricey deli meat) store brand sugar free cold cereals, skim milk, apples, oranges (whatever fruit is on sale), carrots and celery. </p><p></p><p>He does not appreciate what you are providing for him now - where you can stop providing it, stop doing it.</p><p></p><p>Many insurance providers have a 24 hour mental health crisis line. If yours does, call them. Consider contacting a Tough Love group- I don't know if they have a crisis line or not.</p><p></p><p>I'm going to pray for everyone involved in your life - and hope that this baby would be placed with a commited married couple who can provide life's necessities - which begin with a stable home of their own.</p><p></p><p>Special hugs for you today. Be strong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="C.J., post: 252055, member: 1987"] I did a search for NC minimum marriage age - it is 16 with parental permission, or emancipated minor, though 14 or older if a baby is involved, but a judge must provide a court order for that type of marriage to go through. I presume you've grounded this child for his outrageous behavior, and he is ignoring your house rules and expectations. In his mind, he has replaced you as the authority figure in YOUR home. It doesn't help that the system continues to reinforce his thinking. If it were me (and it was for a time with my difficult child), I would call the police EVERY time he walked out of your home without permission. Report him as a runaway. I also called the national runaway hotline, and the Center for Missing & Exploited Children. I made reports there, too. You would then have the documentation you WILL need when you are in a court room, a therapist's office, the school, etc. to show you did not shirk your responsibilities as a parent. I got a business card from every cop, social worker, attorney, doctor - anyone I came into contact with regarding N*. I put the date and time on the back of the card, and a short note about what our contact was for. I have multiple cards from the same person if I saw him/her more than once. Later, I put this info on an excel spread sheet. I inserted columns for date & time, incident, what difficult child did, what I did, type of contact (school admin, police, attorney, court, juvenile detention, probation officer), outcome of contact, amount of time involved (number of hours), out of pocket costs - you get the picture. Nobody was going to tell me I didn't try to move mountains to help my child. Some practical suggestions for the short term - stop doing things for difficult child. Laundry for difficult child is his responsibility - he's not going to school anyway. If difficult child wants to eat, he can make it himself. Get rid of the snack foods, soda, desserts. Get the very limited basics: Bread, peanut butter, bologna (no pricey deli meat) store brand sugar free cold cereals, skim milk, apples, oranges (whatever fruit is on sale), carrots and celery. He does not appreciate what you are providing for him now - where you can stop providing it, stop doing it. Many insurance providers have a 24 hour mental health crisis line. If yours does, call them. Consider contacting a Tough Love group- I don't know if they have a crisis line or not. I'm going to pray for everyone involved in your life - and hope that this baby would be placed with a commited married couple who can provide life's necessities - which begin with a stable home of their own. Special hugs for you today. Be strong. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My worst nightmare
Top