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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 217752" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>MWM, so far I think you have covered this pretty well. It seems kids just ARE going to be on Myspace or similar sites, whether we want it or not. Not sure you remember, but we had horrible problems with Wiz and both Myspace and Facebook. The entire thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth, if you Know what I mean??? But your N seems like a really good kid and you seem to have a great relationship with her. </p><p> </p><p>I think one thing we have to remember as parents is that kids have a different "definition" of sex than we do. I know around MY area that sex = intercourse. Anything less than actual vaginal intercourse is not considered sex. It is considered "fooling around" or "just playing" and MANY of the kids here try to say it has no emotional meaning, or is something you do with friends, not just boyfriends.</p><p> </p><p>And I AM talking about kids as young as 11 or so. </p><p> </p><p>Personally, this terrifies me. I was truly APPALLED when the SECRETARY at our Middle School told me that snapping a girl's bra strap was NOT sexual harrassment because "it has nothing to do with sex". They also were not concerned overly about girls getting full-on groped (hands on breasts, rear ends or even crotches, or girls hands on guys crotches - even when the girl's hand was grabbed and forced to that area) because the "groping" was done with-o taking clothes off and it was in a crowded hallway. Why were they not concerned much? BEcause it wasn't "personal" and no one could get pregnant that way!</p><p> </p><p>So as for sex, I think with our kids we need to be as explicit as possible about what IS sex and what isn't. And about how to draw the boundaries with others.</p><p> </p><p>I picked up a lot of the info about what kids think sex is and isn't in our beloved tdocs' office - other kids talking in the waiting area, and at soccer practices and games, and other games/practices where siblings are ont he sidelines, often chatting on their cellphones. Though in the therapist office a few of the high school age girls talked openly with me, some even with their moms present.</p><p> </p><p>I am glad your daughter is not active. I just want to cry when I hear about how young our babies (both girls and boys) are getting involved in sex. I KNOW that not that many years ago girls were often married by age 14 or 16, but still. This is not then. And it was too young back then too (my great grandma was considered an "old maid" by her aunts because she was not married at 16!), which is just one of the reasons so many women died in childbirth.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, that was just a reminder of how kids now (not your daughter, but many of her -and Jessie's) peers think about sex. It reminds me to talk regularly about it with my kids. Not so much Wiz, Gma and Gpa do that unless they ask me to or he has a ??? to ask me. But even thank you is not immune to age-appropriate talks about sex. </p><p> </p><p>Glad you have such a great relationship with your daughter, and that she is such a great kid.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 217752, member: 1233"] MWM, so far I think you have covered this pretty well. It seems kids just ARE going to be on Myspace or similar sites, whether we want it or not. Not sure you remember, but we had horrible problems with Wiz and both Myspace and Facebook. The entire thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth, if you Know what I mean??? But your N seems like a really good kid and you seem to have a great relationship with her. I think one thing we have to remember as parents is that kids have a different "definition" of sex than we do. I know around MY area that sex = intercourse. Anything less than actual vaginal intercourse is not considered sex. It is considered "fooling around" or "just playing" and MANY of the kids here try to say it has no emotional meaning, or is something you do with friends, not just boyfriends. And I AM talking about kids as young as 11 or so. Personally, this terrifies me. I was truly APPALLED when the SECRETARY at our Middle School told me that snapping a girl's bra strap was NOT sexual harrassment because "it has nothing to do with sex". They also were not concerned overly about girls getting full-on groped (hands on breasts, rear ends or even crotches, or girls hands on guys crotches - even when the girl's hand was grabbed and forced to that area) because the "groping" was done with-o taking clothes off and it was in a crowded hallway. Why were they not concerned much? BEcause it wasn't "personal" and no one could get pregnant that way! So as for sex, I think with our kids we need to be as explicit as possible about what IS sex and what isn't. And about how to draw the boundaries with others. I picked up a lot of the info about what kids think sex is and isn't in our beloved tdocs' office - other kids talking in the waiting area, and at soccer practices and games, and other games/practices where siblings are ont he sidelines, often chatting on their cellphones. Though in the therapist office a few of the high school age girls talked openly with me, some even with their moms present. I am glad your daughter is not active. I just want to cry when I hear about how young our babies (both girls and boys) are getting involved in sex. I KNOW that not that many years ago girls were often married by age 14 or 16, but still. This is not then. And it was too young back then too (my great grandma was considered an "old maid" by her aunts because she was not married at 16!), which is just one of the reasons so many women died in childbirth. Anyway, that was just a reminder of how kids now (not your daughter, but many of her -and Jessie's) peers think about sex. It reminds me to talk regularly about it with my kids. Not so much Wiz, Gma and Gpa do that unless they ask me to or he has a ??? to ask me. But even thank you is not immune to age-appropriate talks about sex. Glad you have such a great relationship with your daughter, and that she is such a great kid. [/QUOTE]
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