Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Narcicistic father. Is he too old for me to take a stand?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 546228" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Well, I don't know your father. So keep that in mind. </p><p></p><p>There was a time I could not please my Mom, and that, trust me is putting it so mildly that it might as well be marshmallow fluff. We'll just say I'm being very kind. She was abusive, vicious, vendictive....... If she had not been so kind to my children, I'd have dropped contact with her the moment I left home. Unlike your dad, age has mellowed her instead of made it worse. But while I endured that abuse as a child when I was not with gramma, I refused to endure it as an adult. Oddly I discovered along the way that the more I told her off, the more she seemed to respect me. And I'm going to say that while with most people I can remain tactful and not raise my voice, my mom can bring out the worst in anyone and has on several occasions triggered my own vicious temper. So there have been more than plenty of times that I've thrown it back at her as awful, if not worse, than she gave it if the situation called for it. I did NOT pull punches. Someone who treats others that way, especially their "loved" ones, doesn't deserve to have punches pulled regardless of age. Nor do they respect it if you do.</p><p></p><p>I've been disowned any number of times. I refuse to give in. I refuse to compromise. I refuse to be guilted. I demand respect and I will get it or there will be no relationship. This is with everyone, not just my mother. I treat others with respect and I expect to be treated the same way, I will not tolerate less. I won't lie to you, it took quite a while for my mother to realize this. But as I said, she learned and she respected me for being strong enough to stand up to her. We've managed, since those boundaries took hold, to develop a pretty close relationship. I find it amusing that I'm the only one of her kids she completely trusts, the one she turns to for advice or when she needs something. Because I am the only kid who will tell her exactly like it is, whether she wants to hear it or not. lol </p><p></p><p>You never know, maybe your dad is just waiting for one of his kids to have the guts to blast him back. I'll never forget the look on my mother's face the first time she got it from me (it wasn't pretty she'd triggered my temper), it was as if I'd just slapped her silly, she started to talk, thought better of it and shut up. My mom has a vicious temper inherited from my gramma who's was worse, mine is like my gramma's and my mom knows it. </p><p></p><p>Even if it doesn't cause him to treat you better, your boundaries will be in place and you no longer have to subject yourself to his abuse. </p><p></p><p>People treat us how we allow ourselves to be treated. This includes our parents.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 546228, member: 84"] Well, I don't know your father. So keep that in mind. There was a time I could not please my Mom, and that, trust me is putting it so mildly that it might as well be marshmallow fluff. We'll just say I'm being very kind. She was abusive, vicious, vendictive....... If she had not been so kind to my children, I'd have dropped contact with her the moment I left home. Unlike your dad, age has mellowed her instead of made it worse. But while I endured that abuse as a child when I was not with gramma, I refused to endure it as an adult. Oddly I discovered along the way that the more I told her off, the more she seemed to respect me. And I'm going to say that while with most people I can remain tactful and not raise my voice, my mom can bring out the worst in anyone and has on several occasions triggered my own vicious temper. So there have been more than plenty of times that I've thrown it back at her as awful, if not worse, than she gave it if the situation called for it. I did NOT pull punches. Someone who treats others that way, especially their "loved" ones, doesn't deserve to have punches pulled regardless of age. Nor do they respect it if you do. I've been disowned any number of times. I refuse to give in. I refuse to compromise. I refuse to be guilted. I demand respect and I will get it or there will be no relationship. This is with everyone, not just my mother. I treat others with respect and I expect to be treated the same way, I will not tolerate less. I won't lie to you, it took quite a while for my mother to realize this. But as I said, she learned and she respected me for being strong enough to stand up to her. We've managed, since those boundaries took hold, to develop a pretty close relationship. I find it amusing that I'm the only one of her kids she completely trusts, the one she turns to for advice or when she needs something. Because I am the only kid who will tell her exactly like it is, whether she wants to hear it or not. lol You never know, maybe your dad is just waiting for one of his kids to have the guts to blast him back. I'll never forget the look on my mother's face the first time she got it from me (it wasn't pretty she'd triggered my temper), it was as if I'd just slapped her silly, she started to talk, thought better of it and shut up. My mom has a vicious temper inherited from my gramma who's was worse, mine is like my gramma's and my mom knows it. Even if it doesn't cause him to treat you better, your boundaries will be in place and you no longer have to subject yourself to his abuse. People treat us how we allow ourselves to be treated. This includes our parents. Hugs [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Narcicistic father. Is he too old for me to take a stand?
Top