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Narcicistic father. Is he too old for me to take a stand?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 546237" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>OMG I think our father's are twins. I haven't spoken to mine since father's day and unless I break down and go over there I never willagain because he will never call me. Honestly my father sounds much like yours. He has always been a miserable person, we never did anything right, he was always angry at one of us for something and would try to get the other two on his side. He caused so much trouble between us siblings that I have not talked to or seen my older sister in over 30 years, no one has. He has disowned us all so many times, actually changed his will several times. Her wants the power over us. It's ridiculous because he has nothing. He sold the house we grew up in two years ago for $39,000. He gave my younger sister and I $13,000 and saved $13,000 for himself. I immediately put it in the bank to help pay for easy child's wedding at some point. He gave older sister nothing and put in his will he doesn't want her to have anything, although there is nothing left now, no insurance, no jewelry, nothing of any value. So now he has no control over me anymore. </p><p></p><p>His current favorite is younger sister. Loves her and her family and we are uppidy snobs according to him and sister. No matter that I took care of mom for six years when she was bedridden and then took him grocery shopping and paid his bills and cleaned his house for 15 years after that. Obviously I haven't done enough and I have audacity to call him on it when he is treating me poorly.</p><p></p><p>Latest problem began Christmas 2010 when I asked him not to have alcohol on Christas Eve because difficult child had recently gotten out of rehab. That caused a big problem with him and sister, who brought wine over and they celebrated in the kitchen of his one bedroom apartment, as if that was OK. We stayed to be nice but I called several days later to discuss this and we ended up in argument. Things were already strained with my sister over many issues so then she got into it with me and hence we have barely spoken the past two years. Just this past Father's Day easy child and I went to visit him with gift and he was at corner bar and I discovered my key to his apartment didn't work. We went up tp the bar and asked why I couldn't get in and he told me he changed his locks because I never come over anyway. That hurt me and we left and I haven't spoken to hm since. As we were leaving he made a dismissive hand gesture to us. A few days later I wrote him a letter and sent it, telling him how I felt about him locking me out and that I never felt unconditional love from him because his love always depended on who he wasn't mad at at the time. I told him that I couldn;t understand why he wanted to spend his last years with so much anger (he's 92) but that I wasn't going to get caught up in his games and life was too short for that.</p><p></p><p>He is having a great time with sister's family according to fb pics my sister posts. She defriended me but I can see her fb profile pics. I realized he has always been like this and I was always too afraid to lose contact with him to stand up but phooey on that anymore. The price for having him in my life is too high. He is a nasty bitter angry dysfunctional man and has never known how to treat his family. He would never call me....never. He thinks it's our duty to call him and has always felt that way. Geez I call my easy child all the time I don't wait for her to call me.</p><p></p><p>So I don't know what you should do. Telling him off will not change him, will make no difference in how he treats you, but it may make you feel better. Al I know is I hope and pray I never ever get like him.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 546237, member: 59"] OMG I think our father's are twins. I haven't spoken to mine since father's day and unless I break down and go over there I never willagain because he will never call me. Honestly my father sounds much like yours. He has always been a miserable person, we never did anything right, he was always angry at one of us for something and would try to get the other two on his side. He caused so much trouble between us siblings that I have not talked to or seen my older sister in over 30 years, no one has. He has disowned us all so many times, actually changed his will several times. Her wants the power over us. It's ridiculous because he has nothing. He sold the house we grew up in two years ago for $39,000. He gave my younger sister and I $13,000 and saved $13,000 for himself. I immediately put it in the bank to help pay for easy child's wedding at some point. He gave older sister nothing and put in his will he doesn't want her to have anything, although there is nothing left now, no insurance, no jewelry, nothing of any value. So now he has no control over me anymore. His current favorite is younger sister. Loves her and her family and we are uppidy snobs according to him and sister. No matter that I took care of mom for six years when she was bedridden and then took him grocery shopping and paid his bills and cleaned his house for 15 years after that. Obviously I haven't done enough and I have audacity to call him on it when he is treating me poorly. Latest problem began Christmas 2010 when I asked him not to have alcohol on Christas Eve because difficult child had recently gotten out of rehab. That caused a big problem with him and sister, who brought wine over and they celebrated in the kitchen of his one bedroom apartment, as if that was OK. We stayed to be nice but I called several days later to discuss this and we ended up in argument. Things were already strained with my sister over many issues so then she got into it with me and hence we have barely spoken the past two years. Just this past Father's Day easy child and I went to visit him with gift and he was at corner bar and I discovered my key to his apartment didn't work. We went up tp the bar and asked why I couldn't get in and he told me he changed his locks because I never come over anyway. That hurt me and we left and I haven't spoken to hm since. As we were leaving he made a dismissive hand gesture to us. A few days later I wrote him a letter and sent it, telling him how I felt about him locking me out and that I never felt unconditional love from him because his love always depended on who he wasn't mad at at the time. I told him that I couldn;t understand why he wanted to spend his last years with so much anger (he's 92) but that I wasn't going to get caught up in his games and life was too short for that. He is having a great time with sister's family according to fb pics my sister posts. She defriended me but I can see her fb profile pics. I realized he has always been like this and I was always too afraid to lose contact with him to stand up but phooey on that anymore. The price for having him in my life is too high. He is a nasty bitter angry dysfunctional man and has never known how to treat his family. He would never call me....never. He thinks it's our duty to call him and has always felt that way. Geez I call my easy child all the time I don't wait for her to call me. So I don't know what you should do. Telling him off will not change him, will make no difference in how he treats you, but it may make you feel better. Al I know is I hope and pray I never ever get like him. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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Narcicistic father. Is he too old for me to take a stand?
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