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Narcicistic father. Is he too old for me to take a stand?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 546247" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>LOL Witz. Well, first of all, my father loves the ladies and has had many since my mother threw him out (that was one smart thing she did, although he blamed all of us for the divorce because he thought that if we'd talked to Mother she wouldn't have divorced him). The joke there is that Mother was as stubborn and bullheaded as him and wouldn't have listened to any of us, but he likes to think she would have, so...whatever. He still brings this up. He had another SO for twenty years and I have no idea what she saw in him. She was uber-wealthy and he mooched off of her. They did travel together and he likes traveling, but doesn't like to pay for his partner so she was able to pay her own way. He treated her like garbage, yelling and swearing at her, screaming horrible things to her about the amount of time she spent away from him and with her totally disabled daughter. Her daughter had a rare form of arthritis and couldn't lift even her head or hand...she needed total care. My father used to make fun of her personality and looks all the time. If it were me, I would have booted him out the door and never spoken to him again, but she just sort of ignored him and saw her daughter anyway. I don't know what she was thinking. She was a nice lady, didn't need him for money at all (she didn't work, didn't have to work) and was intelligent too.</p><p></p><p> And then he'd call us up and swear and scream about her to US. I think she just wanted any man who would travel with her. After she passed on, he had a few women and one of them wanted marriage. She was a doll. I am glad she broke it off because he wouldn't marry her. This new woman is "more like a friend." Yes, my father has had sex until recently, maybe he still does, but not with her. God only knows what she wants from him. </p><p></p><p>Telling my father off just enrages him. He has no interest in any of his children and could and would walk away from us, never to see us again, without grieving. None of us are any good. There is no favorite. He dislikes us all. If he is indifferent to us, he is totally oblivious to his grandchildren. He doesn't even know their birthdays and never sends a card. Often he will say, "You shouldn't have adopted those kids, but YOU WANTED TO" like it was a bad thing. He even picks on my dogs. "They're expensive and YOU CAN'T AFFORD THEM!" </p><p></p><p>His lack of interest in my children is not because most of them are adopted. He pays just as little attention to his three biological grandchildren and has never once made the effort to see my biological son's son, his great-grandson. And he doesn't even remember great-grandson's name. He calls him Jeremiah (his name is Jeremy). We are NOT important to him, none of us.</p><p></p><p>Nancy, I'm so sorry you have an equally horrible, divisive father. I wish my father drank. At least it would be an excuse for his horrible behavior, and maybe we could get him drunk when he does show up at family functions...lol. J/K. I know it's not funny. I also know that these horrible parents cause so much trouble between the siblings. They are just so impossible to deal with and cause so much trouble...and I think they LIKE causing trouble. It's really sad.</p><p></p><p>My father has never changed his will. For one thing, he's lazy and doesn't want to see the lawyer or go to the bank. For another thing, I don't think he is really going to do it. It's just a threat so he can control us. Many times he has said, smugly, "I'm in the driver's seat. You know why." He means his will. My brother is the executor and told us he has never once even called his lawyer about changing the will. </p><p></p><p>My father is one of the most unhappy people I have ever met. He can make a bright, beautiful sunshine be rain, if you Know what I mean?.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 546247, member: 1550"] LOL Witz. Well, first of all, my father loves the ladies and has had many since my mother threw him out (that was one smart thing she did, although he blamed all of us for the divorce because he thought that if we'd talked to Mother she wouldn't have divorced him). The joke there is that Mother was as stubborn and bullheaded as him and wouldn't have listened to any of us, but he likes to think she would have, so...whatever. He still brings this up. He had another SO for twenty years and I have no idea what she saw in him. She was uber-wealthy and he mooched off of her. They did travel together and he likes traveling, but doesn't like to pay for his partner so she was able to pay her own way. He treated her like garbage, yelling and swearing at her, screaming horrible things to her about the amount of time she spent away from him and with her totally disabled daughter. Her daughter had a rare form of arthritis and couldn't lift even her head or hand...she needed total care. My father used to make fun of her personality and looks all the time. If it were me, I would have booted him out the door and never spoken to him again, but she just sort of ignored him and saw her daughter anyway. I don't know what she was thinking. She was a nice lady, didn't need him for money at all (she didn't work, didn't have to work) and was intelligent too. And then he'd call us up and swear and scream about her to US. I think she just wanted any man who would travel with her. After she passed on, he had a few women and one of them wanted marriage. She was a doll. I am glad she broke it off because he wouldn't marry her. This new woman is "more like a friend." Yes, my father has had sex until recently, maybe he still does, but not with her. God only knows what she wants from him. Telling my father off just enrages him. He has no interest in any of his children and could and would walk away from us, never to see us again, without grieving. None of us are any good. There is no favorite. He dislikes us all. If he is indifferent to us, he is totally oblivious to his grandchildren. He doesn't even know their birthdays and never sends a card. Often he will say, "You shouldn't have adopted those kids, but YOU WANTED TO" like it was a bad thing. He even picks on my dogs. "They're expensive and YOU CAN'T AFFORD THEM!" His lack of interest in my children is not because most of them are adopted. He pays just as little attention to his three biological grandchildren and has never once made the effort to see my biological son's son, his great-grandson. And he doesn't even remember great-grandson's name. He calls him Jeremiah (his name is Jeremy). We are NOT important to him, none of us. Nancy, I'm so sorry you have an equally horrible, divisive father. I wish my father drank. At least it would be an excuse for his horrible behavior, and maybe we could get him drunk when he does show up at family functions...lol. J/K. I know it's not funny. I also know that these horrible parents cause so much trouble between the siblings. They are just so impossible to deal with and cause so much trouble...and I think they LIKE causing trouble. It's really sad. My father has never changed his will. For one thing, he's lazy and doesn't want to see the lawyer or go to the bank. For another thing, I don't think he is really going to do it. It's just a threat so he can control us. Many times he has said, smugly, "I'm in the driver's seat. You know why." He means his will. My brother is the executor and told us he has never once even called his lawyer about changing the will. My father is one of the most unhappy people I have ever met. He can make a bright, beautiful sunshine be rain, if you Know what I mean?. [/QUOTE]
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Narcicistic father. Is he too old for me to take a stand?
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