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Parent Emeritus
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 314104" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I don't know whether it's comforting or upsetting to think that she might be hard wired this way. I don't know that I think that she's born with it. Conditioned into it? I think so. I don't think she'll ever see that there might be a better way for her. She certainly won't change if she can't see that.</p><p></p><p>Is it good to not have hope? It's probably easier. husband and I have had many conversations in the past 8 - 10 years where he has been (only to me) very condescending about her shortcomings. I have always told him that I have hope that I think she can change and given time that she will. Today I don't think so. Not as a "today" thing but as a "wow - this is the way it is" thing. Does this mean that I get to stop worrying about her?</p><p></p><p>I keep telling my friend who is facing an eminent divorce after 38 years and four children that she needs to stop allowing her husband to manipulate their grown children. That they are adults and that even if they take sides now, they most certainly will one day resent that he didn't respect his vows enough to not involve them, or respect their adulthood enough to leave them out of it. So, if L is indeed an adult, and this is who she is, do I give it up?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 314104, member: 99"] I don't know whether it's comforting or upsetting to think that she might be hard wired this way. I don't know that I think that she's born with it. Conditioned into it? I think so. I don't think she'll ever see that there might be a better way for her. She certainly won't change if she can't see that. Is it good to not have hope? It's probably easier. husband and I have had many conversations in the past 8 - 10 years where he has been (only to me) very condescending about her shortcomings. I have always told him that I have hope that I think she can change and given time that she will. Today I don't think so. Not as a "today" thing but as a "wow - this is the way it is" thing. Does this mean that I get to stop worrying about her? I keep telling my friend who is facing an eminent divorce after 38 years and four children that she needs to stop allowing her husband to manipulate their grown children. That they are adults and that even if they take sides now, they most certainly will one day resent that he didn't respect his vows enough to not involve them, or respect their adulthood enough to leave them out of it. So, if L is indeed an adult, and this is who she is, do I give it up? [/QUOTE]
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