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Narcissistic Personality Disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 314127" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>I don't suppose it really matters whether personality disorders are hard-wired or acquired, although from experience with family members I tend to think they're hard-wired. My mother fits Narcissistic Personality Disorder to a T, and it's taken years for me to figure that out, come to grips with it, and stop fantasizing that she's going to ever act in a loving way toward anyone else. She can be sweet and apparently thoughtful and loves to take care of people - as long as it serves her agenda and pumps up her view of herself. But not a moment longer. She can respect boundaries and act appropriately toward family members, if there's no other way to get what she wants. But the moment she has what she wants it's back to her usual ways. I hate that I always have to be on guard with her and won't ever have a loving relationship with her, but she just isn't capable of it.</p><p></p><p>I have a sister who has borderline personality disorder for sure; she totally fits criteria but has no insight. In her view she's always the victim. She's very very good at 'hoovering' - drawing others into her dramas, and I've been taken in over and over, even when I know better. I think .... think I'm getting better but it means keeping extreme distance. </p><p></p><p>And difficult child - his new psychiatrist started asking questions pertaining to borderline personality during the first interview and I thought, hooray! Because I see so many of those traits - but then the guy got off track and I don't know his conclusion. I think difficult child has it and am trying to cope with his difficulties keeping that in mind. It's humiliating sitting there having a psychiatrist ask about early abuse etc., since that seems to be the accepted 'cause' of Borderline (BPD) these days. It's difficult child who has abused us all his life! I feel like mothers of schizophrenics must have, back when schizophrenia was attributed to 'refrigerator mothers'. Bleh.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 314127, member: 2884"] I don't suppose it really matters whether personality disorders are hard-wired or acquired, although from experience with family members I tend to think they're hard-wired. My mother fits Narcissistic Personality Disorder to a T, and it's taken years for me to figure that out, come to grips with it, and stop fantasizing that she's going to ever act in a loving way toward anyone else. She can be sweet and apparently thoughtful and loves to take care of people - as long as it serves her agenda and pumps up her view of herself. But not a moment longer. She can respect boundaries and act appropriately toward family members, if there's no other way to get what she wants. But the moment she has what she wants it's back to her usual ways. I hate that I always have to be on guard with her and won't ever have a loving relationship with her, but she just isn't capable of it. I have a sister who has borderline personality disorder for sure; she totally fits criteria but has no insight. In her view she's always the victim. She's very very good at 'hoovering' - drawing others into her dramas, and I've been taken in over and over, even when I know better. I think .... think I'm getting better but it means keeping extreme distance. And difficult child - his new psychiatrist started asking questions pertaining to borderline personality during the first interview and I thought, hooray! Because I see so many of those traits - but then the guy got off track and I don't know his conclusion. I think difficult child has it and am trying to cope with his difficulties keeping that in mind. It's humiliating sitting there having a psychiatrist ask about early abuse etc., since that seems to be the accepted 'cause' of Borderline (BPD) these days. It's difficult child who has abused us all his life! I feel like mothers of schizophrenics must have, back when schizophrenia was attributed to 'refrigerator mothers'. Bleh. [/QUOTE]
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