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Narcissistic Personality Disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 314149"><p>My kids don't have this, but at times, I have seen some entitlement issues with- both of them. However, my father does have this and it has been hideous for my mother and I. As time progressed, it only worsened. I do believe it stemmed from a combination of things...stress in childhood, not enough boundaries, a period of time of physical abuse...a combination of many factors. I also believe that if two or three things had occurred relatively early in his life, it may have improved. 1) That his mother, when he was a young adult...put her foot down and spoke up and said 'enough is enough' and set boundaries/put counsequences in for bad behavior and 2) My mother had separated from him when his behavior was out of control and moved forward with her life in a healthy manner 3) He had received good advice/counsel from healthy advisors and similarly had been motivated and received 4) therapy. However, such folks are not likely to ask for therapy and/or do the work.</p><p></p><p>I do believe there are good books on the subject. Doesn't Scott Peck have one? His is rather extreme. I'm sure there are others. There's the Walking on Eggshells book (about Borderline (BPD)). My friend's son has NPD and it has been VERY difficult. He has fathered many children and refuses to be productive in life. She is doing her best to force his hand and he is slowly moving forward, but it is like pulling teeth. I think she needs to push a little harder. It gets harder and harder as they get older and they know this and use it to their advantage. </p><p></p><p>Absolutely do NOT play her game (s). Do NOT let her treat you poorly. Let everything she says negatively about you go in one ear and out the other. If it gets ugly tell her she is not allowed to speak with- you like this and if necessary, hang up. If she texts you repeatedly, don't answer and if it gets abusive or weird/change your phone or cancel text on your phone for a month and put it back on later with-o telling her. (Just let a few select folks know it is back on and swear them to secrecy). Tell her you took text off your phone and wont be putting it back on.</p><p></p><p>Listen, help her when and where you can and only if she is not abusive. Read up on this disorder. She might have it. Arm yourself. You will feed into her mess if you worry about her excessively and give in to her 'demands.' Offer her therapy if she is willing to go for it. </p><p></p><p>Explore what you need and enjoy in life. Your daughter is past 18. She has to work this out for herself. If she is unwell and willing to get help, you might help her get professional help if you are willing and able to provide this.</p><p></p><p>IN the mean time....... Enjoy life woman.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 314149"] My kids don't have this, but at times, I have seen some entitlement issues with- both of them. However, my father does have this and it has been hideous for my mother and I. As time progressed, it only worsened. I do believe it stemmed from a combination of things...stress in childhood, not enough boundaries, a period of time of physical abuse...a combination of many factors. I also believe that if two or three things had occurred relatively early in his life, it may have improved. 1) That his mother, when he was a young adult...put her foot down and spoke up and said 'enough is enough' and set boundaries/put counsequences in for bad behavior and 2) My mother had separated from him when his behavior was out of control and moved forward with her life in a healthy manner 3) He had received good advice/counsel from healthy advisors and similarly had been motivated and received 4) therapy. However, such folks are not likely to ask for therapy and/or do the work. I do believe there are good books on the subject. Doesn't Scott Peck have one? His is rather extreme. I'm sure there are others. There's the Walking on Eggshells book (about Borderline (BPD)). My friend's son has NPD and it has been VERY difficult. He has fathered many children and refuses to be productive in life. She is doing her best to force his hand and he is slowly moving forward, but it is like pulling teeth. I think she needs to push a little harder. It gets harder and harder as they get older and they know this and use it to their advantage. Absolutely do NOT play her game (s). Do NOT let her treat you poorly. Let everything she says negatively about you go in one ear and out the other. If it gets ugly tell her she is not allowed to speak with- you like this and if necessary, hang up. If she texts you repeatedly, don't answer and if it gets abusive or weird/change your phone or cancel text on your phone for a month and put it back on later with-o telling her. (Just let a few select folks know it is back on and swear them to secrecy). Tell her you took text off your phone and wont be putting it back on. Listen, help her when and where you can and only if she is not abusive. Read up on this disorder. She might have it. Arm yourself. You will feed into her mess if you worry about her excessively and give in to her 'demands.' Offer her therapy if she is willing to go for it. Explore what you need and enjoy in life. Your daughter is past 18. She has to work this out for herself. If she is unwell and willing to get help, you might help her get professional help if you are willing and able to provide this. IN the mean time....... Enjoy life woman. [/QUOTE]
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