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Narcissistic Son
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 748759" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi!Does he work?</p><p> Did you call him because this was a "should" or was there some desire to see him? About things like this, we almost always have ambivalence. It goes with the territory. We love these kids who don't know how to love us or really themselves.</p><p></p><p>That said, I see you as having options. You can accept that ANY parent would feel like you do in this situation, which is dread and anxiety. YOU have the option to cancel. In this case, I would tell the truth. That you don't think now is a good time to meet. You don't have to explain.</p><p></p><p>When I have gone no contact with my son I have been clear to him and to myself that I could not bear contact. When I would see him again, it was because I could then tolerate it. It was not for any other reason. And when it became impossible and unbearable, again I made complete distance. But then it would be unbearable to NOT have contact. (There's no good place to stand here.)</p><p></p><p>I guess what I'm saying is that I have tried to stay true to what I need, rather than what my son wants. In some cases the two coincide, but not usually.</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 748759, member: 18958"] Hi!Does he work? Did you call him because this was a "should" or was there some desire to see him? About things like this, we almost always have ambivalence. It goes with the territory. We love these kids who don't know how to love us or really themselves. That said, I see you as having options. You can accept that ANY parent would feel like you do in this situation, which is dread and anxiety. YOU have the option to cancel. In this case, I would tell the truth. That you don't think now is a good time to meet. You don't have to explain. When I have gone no contact with my son I have been clear to him and to myself that I could not bear contact. When I would see him again, it was because I could then tolerate it. It was not for any other reason. And when it became impossible and unbearable, again I made complete distance. But then it would be unbearable to NOT have contact. (There's no good place to stand here.) I guess what I'm saying is that I have tried to stay true to what I need, rather than what my son wants. In some cases the two coincide, but not usually. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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