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General Parenting
natural consequences vs.?
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 432660" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>Didn't see your second post. Boy! He sounds so much like my DD1. I feel the same way, that mine currently isn't as difficult as many on here, but I can see her going down that road (50/50 chance right now) if I don't do everything I can.</p><p></p><p>It also sounds as if there might be some environmental or sensory issues at hand. DD1 has hypersensitive hearing - can hear me whisper across a LARGE room. Be super observant in differences in situations when he explodes. Ex XYZ happened at home and everything was OK, XYZ (almost exactly) happened in the cafeteria, he exploded. Gotta become an investigator of your own child. Compare your home and his father's home - age, cleanliness, old carpeting, new carpeting, floors etc. Sometimes allergies can cause/exacerbate erratic behavior. Dad may also be more of a "playmate" so these issues just don't come up.</p><p></p><p>Don't know why you split or how long ago, but that may certainly be a factor in the disparity of behavior. I'm not saying it is, but something - like everything else - that is worthy of exploration. Therapy can help with that including his difficulty of opening up. I am convinced that DD1's bad behavior stopped at home BECAUSE her father left. In a nutshell, I told the kids that Dad started doing something REALLY, REALLY, REALLY bad and I asked him to stop but he didn't want to, so he left so he could continue. I am CONVINCED that in DD1's mind she was afraid this would happen to her - it's why I emphasized the REALLYs, but in a kid's mind, bad is bad. She has no scope of understanding what her dad did, so she's afraid of replicating it at home.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 432660, member: 11965"] Didn't see your second post. Boy! He sounds so much like my DD1. I feel the same way, that mine currently isn't as difficult as many on here, but I can see her going down that road (50/50 chance right now) if I don't do everything I can. It also sounds as if there might be some environmental or sensory issues at hand. DD1 has hypersensitive hearing - can hear me whisper across a LARGE room. Be super observant in differences in situations when he explodes. Ex XYZ happened at home and everything was OK, XYZ (almost exactly) happened in the cafeteria, he exploded. Gotta become an investigator of your own child. Compare your home and his father's home - age, cleanliness, old carpeting, new carpeting, floors etc. Sometimes allergies can cause/exacerbate erratic behavior. Dad may also be more of a "playmate" so these issues just don't come up. Don't know why you split or how long ago, but that may certainly be a factor in the disparity of behavior. I'm not saying it is, but something - like everything else - that is worthy of exploration. Therapy can help with that including his difficulty of opening up. I am convinced that DD1's bad behavior stopped at home BECAUSE her father left. In a nutshell, I told the kids that Dad started doing something REALLY, REALLY, REALLY bad and I asked him to stop but he didn't want to, so he left so he could continue. I am CONVINCED that in DD1's mind she was afraid this would happen to her - it's why I emphasized the REALLYs, but in a kid's mind, bad is bad. She has no scope of understanding what her dad did, so she's afraid of replicating it at home. [/QUOTE]
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