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General Parenting
natural consequences vs.?
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 432746" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>I don't like using incentives because they can actually contribute to the behaviors we are working on by adding more stress and anxiety . Something non-salient and of the kid's choosing is less of a problem - the reward is self determined to help the kid achieve his goal. Because some of the time he does Ok and others not , does not mean we have a problem solved. He is doing the best he can , not making poor choices. He would prefer to be successful and adaptive.</p><p></p><p>Because you feel that the MP3 would contribute to his development and would be a positive thing for him, I would say to him - I have been thinking about the MP3 , I think it would be good for you . I know we made a deal and it did not work out for you , I think not having a mp3 won't help you in school , what would help is if we sat down and try to find out what went wrong in the class and come up with some solutions. CPS is a process , there is always learning taking place even if the kid does not manange to pull it off , it just means more plan discussions. Plan B should be trying to find solutions that avoid the problem rather than teach the kid what to do if for eg he is frustrated.</p><p></p><p>As far as diagnosis's , sometimes we need them to get accomodations but I find the ALSUP <a href="http://livesinthebalance.org" target="_blank">http://livesinthebalance.org</a> see paperwork - the list of assessed lacking skills and unsolved problems a good way to help others wear the lenses of lacking skills and identifying the skills and unsolved problems.</p><p></p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 432746, member: 10"] I don't like using incentives because they can actually contribute to the behaviors we are working on by adding more stress and anxiety . Something non-salient and of the kid's choosing is less of a problem - the reward is self determined to help the kid achieve his goal. Because some of the time he does Ok and others not , does not mean we have a problem solved. He is doing the best he can , not making poor choices. He would prefer to be successful and adaptive. Because you feel that the MP3 would contribute to his development and would be a positive thing for him, I would say to him - I have been thinking about the MP3 , I think it would be good for you . I know we made a deal and it did not work out for you , I think not having a mp3 won't help you in school , what would help is if we sat down and try to find out what went wrong in the class and come up with some solutions. CPS is a process , there is always learning taking place even if the kid does not manange to pull it off , it just means more plan discussions. Plan B should be trying to find solutions that avoid the problem rather than teach the kid what to do if for eg he is frustrated. As far as diagnosis's , sometimes we need them to get accomodations but I find the ALSUP [url]http://livesinthebalance.org[/url] see paperwork - the list of assessed lacking skills and unsolved problems a good way to help others wear the lenses of lacking skills and identifying the skills and unsolved problems. Allan [/QUOTE]
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