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General Parenting
NC: What ARE my options??
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<blockquote data-quote="mrsammler" data-source="post: 431049"><p>Sorry to be so alarmist and dogmatic, but again, I've seen exactly your situation. Your daughter needs therapy, possibly medications to get her back on an even keel, etc, but the immediate problem sounds like just getting her to quit behaving violently and running a reign of terror in your house--I've certainly seen this very situation. Lacking a male family member to literally move in and be "bouncer," as I was (and yes, restoring order required brute force--that's just how it works at the outset), you'll have to call the cops and tell them that she's being violent. They'll ask you if you want her hauled off for a 72-hour psychiatric evaluation, and you should say "yes" to this. That'll do 2 things at once: get her out of your house for a few days and send her the message that you mean business and won't tolerate what she's doing. She'll rage until the cops arrive and then---expect this--suddenly revert to tears and crying and appeals to you to "save" her from the very police whose arrival was caused by her violence and household thuggery. It'll be tough to do, but my counsel is to go ahead and let the cops take her away for the psychiatric evaluation. If drug use is the problem, they'll find out via the various tests that they run during the evaluation. </p><p></p><p>When she comes home, she'll either be meek and docile, in order to avoid another psychiatric evaluation detention, or she'll fly into a rage all over again--and then you have to do another psychiatric evaluation. The cops have no choice but to comply if you state that she's being violent toward you or anyone. If the first 72-hour detention didn't get her attention, believe me, the second one will.</p><p></p><p>Until she's under control and tractable again, you have to treat it like a home invasion: a violent criminal has invaded your home and refuses to leave. Seriously. Once she "gets it" that you won't tolerate her mischief and will send her away repeatedly for psychiatric evaluations until she starts behaving, she'll start behaving. And *then* you can begin to address this therapeutically, via assistance from a therapist, prescription medications, and the like. </p><p></p><p>The most important thing is to send a very strong, emphatic, and unwavering message that "the reign of household terror is over." (This is literally what I said my sister's difficult child when I arrived in NC.) Promise stern consequences and then *never fail* back them up. I promise that this will eventually work. And once the violence has subsided, you can begin to work on its causes, etc. But first the violence and brutality MUST come to an end.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mrsammler, post: 431049"] Sorry to be so alarmist and dogmatic, but again, I've seen exactly your situation. Your daughter needs therapy, possibly medications to get her back on an even keel, etc, but the immediate problem sounds like just getting her to quit behaving violently and running a reign of terror in your house--I've certainly seen this very situation. Lacking a male family member to literally move in and be "bouncer," as I was (and yes, restoring order required brute force--that's just how it works at the outset), you'll have to call the cops and tell them that she's being violent. They'll ask you if you want her hauled off for a 72-hour psychiatric evaluation, and you should say "yes" to this. That'll do 2 things at once: get her out of your house for a few days and send her the message that you mean business and won't tolerate what she's doing. She'll rage until the cops arrive and then---expect this--suddenly revert to tears and crying and appeals to you to "save" her from the very police whose arrival was caused by her violence and household thuggery. It'll be tough to do, but my counsel is to go ahead and let the cops take her away for the psychiatric evaluation. If drug use is the problem, they'll find out via the various tests that they run during the evaluation. When she comes home, she'll either be meek and docile, in order to avoid another psychiatric evaluation detention, or she'll fly into a rage all over again--and then you have to do another psychiatric evaluation. The cops have no choice but to comply if you state that she's being violent toward you or anyone. If the first 72-hour detention didn't get her attention, believe me, the second one will. Until she's under control and tractable again, you have to treat it like a home invasion: a violent criminal has invaded your home and refuses to leave. Seriously. Once she "gets it" that you won't tolerate her mischief and will send her away repeatedly for psychiatric evaluations until she starts behaving, she'll start behaving. And *then* you can begin to address this therapeutically, via assistance from a therapist, prescription medications, and the like. The most important thing is to send a very strong, emphatic, and unwavering message that "the reign of household terror is over." (This is literally what I said my sister's difficult child when I arrived in NC.) Promise stern consequences and then *never fail* back them up. I promise that this will eventually work. And once the violence has subsided, you can begin to work on its causes, etc. But first the violence and brutality MUST come to an end. [/QUOTE]
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