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General Parenting
Need adoption advice for child with ODD
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 469450" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>My son is adopted separately from his siblings....obvious for dad's other baby mama's kids but he was married to difficult child's bio mom and she had 5 others, they had 2, so he has one full bio sister. Her family has all but two of the kids, the two with special needs. His bio half bro has autism and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and was adopted by a couple and they were interested in Q (they had 4 bio kids and 5 adopted, each of the other adopted kids were in pairs and difficult child's bio bro. wanted a "blood brother"--he has LOTs of anger over them not taking mine)...but at the time they had comitted to taking 2 others and they were so near the end, those kids needed the support and difficult child got sick with his brain mass at that time. It would have overloaded their family. SO, not only was he not placed in a bio sib family, but he was placed out of state with an adoption assistance contract that they have kept for the entire 11 years so far.... The contract will continue till 21 since he is certified by the state as permanently disabled. (usually till age 18, thank god till 21 because he will only be a jr. in highschool at 18).</p><p></p><p>Just one story. They do try to keep them together if they are in placement together especially, bio ties are super important, but the big picture must be looked at. I wish all SW would really look at that better, and to lie or down play issues, just results in disruption in adoption and that hurts the kids so much more than waiting for the right placement in the first place.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 469450, member: 12886"] My son is adopted separately from his siblings....obvious for dad's other baby mama's kids but he was married to difficult child's bio mom and she had 5 others, they had 2, so he has one full bio sister. Her family has all but two of the kids, the two with special needs. His bio half bro has autism and Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and was adopted by a couple and they were interested in Q (they had 4 bio kids and 5 adopted, each of the other adopted kids were in pairs and difficult child's bio bro. wanted a "blood brother"--he has LOTs of anger over them not taking mine)...but at the time they had comitted to taking 2 others and they were so near the end, those kids needed the support and difficult child got sick with his brain mass at that time. It would have overloaded their family. SO, not only was he not placed in a bio sib family, but he was placed out of state with an adoption assistance contract that they have kept for the entire 11 years so far.... The contract will continue till 21 since he is certified by the state as permanently disabled. (usually till age 18, thank god till 21 because he will only be a jr. in highschool at 18). Just one story. They do try to keep them together if they are in placement together especially, bio ties are super important, but the big picture must be looked at. I wish all SW would really look at that better, and to lie or down play issues, just results in disruption in adoption and that hurts the kids so much more than waiting for the right placement in the first place. [/QUOTE]
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