This is my first time here. I've been researching ODD and found you all. I'm battling an internal struggle and need some advice from people who've been there. I'll try to keep it short. We have 2 foster children. They're half-siblings. One has been with us since birth. She'll be turning a year soon. She's a sweetheart, and our family has really bonded with her. Her brother is 5 and suffers from ODD. He's been with us for over a year. We've given a large amount of time and energy to him, and he's made significant improvements. The bond suffers though. I also have four other children. Our foster children are now in need of adoption. Our family will soon be relocating to another part of the country, so a decision has to be made. In all honesty, I want to adopt his sister, but not him. It's making me feel so very guilty. They may not even split them up, so we lose them both. I just don't know how much more of him we can handle as a family. It's really good for him to be with us, but the opposite isn't true. We all suffer for him. I can do it. I think it's the right thing to do, but is it fair to adopt a child that makes the lives of my other children and my husband so very difficult? Is it fair to do that to them? But will he be okay without us? Will anyone else ever adopt him? I'm so afraid that I'm sending him to a grim future when I know I have it within my power to prevent that. But at what cost? This is my struggle. Please help with any advice you might have.