Need advice.... again

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by happymomof2, Feb 2, 2008.

  1. happymomof2

    happymomof2 New Member

    difficult child has girlfriend she lives next door and is 13 she has a sister thats 12 in the 7th grade. Now a new girl has moved in down the street that is 14. The 12 year old sister is my daughters friend - sometimes.

    Here leis the problem, my daughter is 12 but she is in 6th grade - only due to her birthday being in October. She is not as mature as the other girls and is constantly getting her feelings hurt by them. The other 12 year old likes her but also likes to hang out with the older ones. difficult child's girlfriend takes verbal stabs at my daughter that hurts her feelings and she comes in the house crying. This doesn't happen every time they are all together but frequently. Too frequently for me. I have talked to difficult child's girlfriends mother about how she is towards my daughter and she said she would talk to her about it. The mom and dad also have problems with her being mouthy. They don't allow it and slam her with restriction when she does it to them, but that doesn't seem to slow her down any.

    Anyway - what can I do about my daughter? It makes me angry at the other kids when she comes in the house in tears. I hug her and try to comfort her and tell her about the age differences etc....

    There are no other girls in our neighborhood that I will allow my daughter to hang out with.

    What do I do??
  2. happymomof2

    happymomof2 New Member

    Just a add on....

    Should I tell sons girlfriend that if this continues to happen she will be restricted for a certain period of time from coming over here? Tell my daughter to get a backbone and quit wearing her feelings on her sleeve? (dang near impossible) If I do say something to sons girlfriend how is that going to affect my daughters relationship with all of them? Or should I just continue to console my daughter best I can and let them figure it out?

    I am really getting tired of this!
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I know it hurts to watch your child going thru this with the other older kids. But honestly, they need to work it out for themselves. Your 12 yr old does need to learn to develop a tougher skin. (or by hs the kids will eat her alive)

    Have you asked your son how it makes him feel when his sister is treated badly by the girlfriend? I'd think it a bit unusual. Usually the girlfriend is all about impressing the boyfriend by "liking, or appearing to like" everyone in his family. I might have a little talk with son abut how sisters (no matter how annoying she might be now) are forever, and girlfriend's are only temporary.

    But then, if one of my kid's boyfriend's ever thought of treating one of their sibs like that well............. They wouldn't be around long enough to worry about it. Same for friends. It was always ok for my kids to pick on one another, quite a different sort of matter if someone else dared to.

    Tough spot for a Mom. But your 12 yr old also needs to learn not to let others treat her like that. They're not worth hanging around if they can't respect her.

    That last one was a very very hard one to get thru to Travis. I think it's finally sunk in. I think.