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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 609991" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Payla, the McCoy link at the bottom of my posts gives parents specific phrases to use when talking to our adult children. You mentioned that your difficult child calls often. Maybe this would be helpful to you? It was, to me.</p><p></p><p>You are right. Winter is coming, and that's scary. When difficult child daughter was homeless last winter, she told me they sleep in abandoned houses. The homeless people check in with one another in the morning to see whether everyone is okay. They have a kind of routine, in that they meet and drink, and then, go to the Mission for dinner at a certain time. In the city where difficult child daughter was, there are people who work on the streets as advocates for those who are homeless. They will do things like help them get identification. They encourage the homeless to use the shelters, though interestingly enough, many choose not to. Again in the city where difficult child was, there is something called an A.R.M.S. worker. This is a person who brings homeless people with mental health issues to medical appointments, probation hearings, things like that. If it becomes necessary for your son to be homeless Payla, knowing whether such services exist in the city he will be homeless in would give you some measure of comfort. There may be a place, probably a shelter, where he can get mail.</p><p></p><p>In a way, this is a choice difficult child is making, Payla. </p><p></p><p>I have learned to use phrases like: "Oh, that's terrible!" and "What are you going to do?" and "I'm sorry that happened." It helps to know in advance how I am going to need to respond. I can never think, when I am talking to someone in trouble. I have to remind myself not to say another word, but just to listen. Sometimes, that helps me.</p><p> </p><p>One of the things my difficult child most appreciated was a warm sleeping bag she could carry in a back pack. They lose their things frequently. I found a beautiful one for $12 at Savers. Good, thick, white cotton socks and, if your climate is very cold, warm boots. Homeless people need to walk a lot. Anything too nice will probably be stolen.</p><p></p><p>After we got back, we tried to get difficult child to come home. She actually chose the streets, Payla. I don't think she would want to go back there, but they do survive. </p><p></p><p>This is a horrible position for you to be in, Payla. I'm so sorry this is happening.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 609991, member: 1721"] Payla, the McCoy link at the bottom of my posts gives parents specific phrases to use when talking to our adult children. You mentioned that your difficult child calls often. Maybe this would be helpful to you? It was, to me. You are right. Winter is coming, and that's scary. When difficult child daughter was homeless last winter, she told me they sleep in abandoned houses. The homeless people check in with one another in the morning to see whether everyone is okay. They have a kind of routine, in that they meet and drink, and then, go to the Mission for dinner at a certain time. In the city where difficult child daughter was, there are people who work on the streets as advocates for those who are homeless. They will do things like help them get identification. They encourage the homeless to use the shelters, though interestingly enough, many choose not to. Again in the city where difficult child was, there is something called an A.R.M.S. worker. This is a person who brings homeless people with mental health issues to medical appointments, probation hearings, things like that. If it becomes necessary for your son to be homeless Payla, knowing whether such services exist in the city he will be homeless in would give you some measure of comfort. There may be a place, probably a shelter, where he can get mail. In a way, this is a choice difficult child is making, Payla. I have learned to use phrases like: "Oh, that's terrible!" and "What are you going to do?" and "I'm sorry that happened." It helps to know in advance how I am going to need to respond. I can never think, when I am talking to someone in trouble. I have to remind myself not to say another word, but just to listen. Sometimes, that helps me. One of the things my difficult child most appreciated was a warm sleeping bag she could carry in a back pack. They lose their things frequently. I found a beautiful one for $12 at Savers. Good, thick, white cotton socks and, if your climate is very cold, warm boots. Homeless people need to walk a lot. Anything too nice will probably be stolen. After we got back, we tried to get difficult child to come home. She actually chose the streets, Payla. I don't think she would want to go back there, but they do survive. This is a horrible position for you to be in, Payla. I'm so sorry this is happening. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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