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General Parenting
Need Advice on How to Deal with Teen Daughter Argument and Estrangement
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<blockquote data-quote="Cnlbw" data-source="post: 612021" data-attributes="member: 17210"><p>I just joined this forum and was extremely moved by your post as this is very similar to my situation. My 16-yo daughter and I got into a big argument almost 3 weeks ago which went from bad to worse quickly and beyond what I could ever imagine. She has had issues with big outbursts...screaming, cursing, bossing or as her siblings say "bullying" the rest of the family, but this night she went too far. We are divorced and have joint 50/50 custody and live only a mile from each other. I was consoling my daughter (who has grandiose aspirations for her future but doesn't apply herself in order to achieve them) because of poor SAT scores she got; she screamed in my face "you don't even understand my f'ing SAT scores!" I, in turn, put my hands on her shoulders and smacked the top of her hand and looked into her eyes and old her repeatedly and firmly that she will not ever talk to me like that. She looked at me and said "you hit me" and packed some bags and said she was going to her stay at her dad's for a few days. They in turn called CPS and the police and reported me for abuse! We went through all of those discussions, case closed with no substantiation and recommendations for counseling for her! But she is left with intense anger toward me (undoubtedly because I, unlike her father, put her in her place) and we haven't spoken in almost 3 weeks now. She canceled her attendance to our counselor appointment last week and I went alone because her dad didn't come either. I feel that he is perpetuating this and I am losing her. I miss her terribly but am so angry too for all of the reporting she did and now for the complete lack of response to all of my communication attempts. Her brother and sister continue to adhere to the back-and-forth schedule but without her. The silence I'm getting from her is killing me and I just don't know what to do. Any advice is appreciated.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Cnlbw, post: 612021, member: 17210"] I just joined this forum and was extremely moved by your post as this is very similar to my situation. My 16-yo daughter and I got into a big argument almost 3 weeks ago which went from bad to worse quickly and beyond what I could ever imagine. She has had issues with big outbursts...screaming, cursing, bossing or as her siblings say "bullying" the rest of the family, but this night she went too far. We are divorced and have joint 50/50 custody and live only a mile from each other. I was consoling my daughter (who has grandiose aspirations for her future but doesn't apply herself in order to achieve them) because of poor SAT scores she got; she screamed in my face "you don't even understand my f'ing SAT scores!" I, in turn, put my hands on her shoulders and smacked the top of her hand and looked into her eyes and old her repeatedly and firmly that she will not ever talk to me like that. She looked at me and said "you hit me" and packed some bags and said she was going to her stay at her dad's for a few days. They in turn called CPS and the police and reported me for abuse! We went through all of those discussions, case closed with no substantiation and recommendations for counseling for her! But she is left with intense anger toward me (undoubtedly because I, unlike her father, put her in her place) and we haven't spoken in almost 3 weeks now. She canceled her attendance to our counselor appointment last week and I went alone because her dad didn't come either. I feel that he is perpetuating this and I am losing her. I miss her terribly but am so angry too for all of the reporting she did and now for the complete lack of response to all of my communication attempts. Her brother and sister continue to adhere to the back-and-forth schedule but without her. The silence I'm getting from her is killing me and I just don't know what to do. Any advice is appreciated. [/QUOTE]
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