Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need advice related to 3 year old grandson
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 497363" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Wow Diane, I am sorry for you. I dont know if her name is real in your story, if so you may want to edit it, just in case. People find things in weird ways on the internet and I would never want this child out of your life.</p><p></p><p>I can see that there would be many concerns. I am for one thing thinking that he is probably really bonded to you and he is likely receiving a more calm and attentlive life when he is with you. that is not a bad thing, lol! But of course if the other environment is not too healthy, then he is clearly going to want to be with you more. It is concerning that he seems to never be happy but you probably don't see him in other than transition moments which can be super hard on kids in the first place so it is hard to know, like you said, if he is really having a hard time the whole time he is in that home. I am sad that they seem not to really want him but it is hard to know that for sure too.... IF the uncle has adhd, dont worry to much about his not looking at the baby. He may be avoiding you and doing all he can to hold it together himself. given the situation he likely has more than adhd going on himself. </p><p></p><p>Since you have no legal rights to this child, I personally,( but what the heck do I know!) would not do anything to jeopardize my ability to stay in his life. There may come a day when he really needs you and if you are up for it, you want to be in a position to help. I also think you supporting mom is really important. It is lovely that you are helping her like this. Many of us are raising kids who are not ours biologically, and they do have sadness over their birth parents. They NEED to be bonded to a primary person and of course all things being equal and not dangerous for them, that should be their parents. Do not do anything that jeopardizes his relationship with his mom. That trip may be too long a time away from her....but again, it could be a thing that turns it around for mom and allows her to get out on her own and make a nicer home for him.... so weigh it carefully.</p><p></p><p>You sound like amazing grandparents. I am sorry about your son. It is wonderful that your grandson will have some connection to that side of the family for many reasons... of course your unconditional love being the most important. No child can be loved too much right? </p><p></p><p>I imagine boundaries are so hard in this kind of situation and I would be much like you... very concerned and helping in any way I could. In the end anything can happen with custody.... we have members here who can share with you on that....lots of grandparents here have been raising , helping, adopting etc.. their grandchildren. </p><p></p><p>SO great you came here, I hope you continue to check in!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 497363, member: 12886"] Wow Diane, I am sorry for you. I dont know if her name is real in your story, if so you may want to edit it, just in case. People find things in weird ways on the internet and I would never want this child out of your life. I can see that there would be many concerns. I am for one thing thinking that he is probably really bonded to you and he is likely receiving a more calm and attentlive life when he is with you. that is not a bad thing, lol! But of course if the other environment is not too healthy, then he is clearly going to want to be with you more. It is concerning that he seems to never be happy but you probably don't see him in other than transition moments which can be super hard on kids in the first place so it is hard to know, like you said, if he is really having a hard time the whole time he is in that home. I am sad that they seem not to really want him but it is hard to know that for sure too.... IF the uncle has adhd, dont worry to much about his not looking at the baby. He may be avoiding you and doing all he can to hold it together himself. given the situation he likely has more than adhd going on himself. Since you have no legal rights to this child, I personally,( but what the heck do I know!) would not do anything to jeopardize my ability to stay in his life. There may come a day when he really needs you and if you are up for it, you want to be in a position to help. I also think you supporting mom is really important. It is lovely that you are helping her like this. Many of us are raising kids who are not ours biologically, and they do have sadness over their birth parents. They NEED to be bonded to a primary person and of course all things being equal and not dangerous for them, that should be their parents. Do not do anything that jeopardizes his relationship with his mom. That trip may be too long a time away from her....but again, it could be a thing that turns it around for mom and allows her to get out on her own and make a nicer home for him.... so weigh it carefully. You sound like amazing grandparents. I am sorry about your son. It is wonderful that your grandson will have some connection to that side of the family for many reasons... of course your unconditional love being the most important. No child can be loved too much right? I imagine boundaries are so hard in this kind of situation and I would be much like you... very concerned and helping in any way I could. In the end anything can happen with custody.... we have members here who can share with you on that....lots of grandparents here have been raising , helping, adopting etc.. their grandchildren. SO great you came here, I hope you continue to check in! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need advice related to 3 year old grandson
Top