Hello Everyone!! I haven't been on for a while. A new problem has arisen so thought I'd write about it in hopes of gaining peace. My niece whom I never hear from contacted me a while ago and asked me why my daughter said that she doesn't have me in her life anymore. My niece asked my d.d. how I was on a message board that they are both on and that was my daughter's reply "I don't know because I don't have my mother in my life anymore.. My niece knew nothing about my d.d. and her estrangement. I cried when I heard my d.d. would say this to a stranger as my niece and d.d. only have seen each other a few times growing up. My niece is several years older than my d.d. I told my niece the ridiculous reason of what started all of this - my d.d. didn't like a message I sent to her 4 years ago, telling her to stop posting certain things online. My niece couldn't get over that my d.d. was holding this against me for 4 years and neither can I. My d.d. is a functioning alcoholic, so I know this has a lot to do with her thinking and reasoning as alcoholism affects certain parts of the brain as everyone knows. However, I am not going to reveal all of this to my niece who is being very nosy in my opinion. I have no relationship with this niece - she lives far away and I haven't seen her since I attended her father's funeral (my brother) - before that we had no contact for years. Anyway, since the first time I heard from this niece she called me again the other night. I thought it was a telemarketing call and let it go to voicemail. When I played the message from my niece, she said she had to ask me a question and discuss something with me. It was late at night and I just didn't want to be discussing my problems with my d.d. with this niece I don't have any relationship with, etc, so I didn't call back. I felt guilty a little for not answering my niece but I was 99% sure her wanting to talk to me had to do with my d.d. so I messaged this niece and told her I received her phone message but am not calling her as I don't want to talk about my estranged daughter to her if this is the reason she called me. I then went on to say that I don't want to hurt her (my niece) feelings but I get very upset over this situation and don't want to discuss it. I wished my niece the best since she's having a tough time right now which she posts diligently on fb. My niece got my online message and read it but never replied to me. So, obviously, it had to do with what I suspected she wanted to discuss - my d.d. If it didn't have to do with that, my niece wouldn't hold back and would clearly reply to me and tell me that she didn't want to discuss this d.d. with me but something else. So, I'm glad I handled all of that the way I did. The problem is my d.d. is in touch with all of my nieces of fb and I'm sure she's telling stories about me and spreading lies which I have no control over. I've already found out one lie my d.d told my son-in-law which not a word of it is true. How do you put to rest all of this and find peace? I know I can't control the lies my daughter may be spreading to my relatives about me, but at the same time I don't like that I can't defend myself. I could've told this niece not to believe my d.d. if she's saying negative things about me and that this d.d is an alcoholic who's personality has taken a turn for the worst. But, my d.d. is still my daughter and I feel as I'm betraying her by stating this truth. Any advice would be appreciated.