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Substance Abuse
Need clarity on this situation; stealing and lying and rehab
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 726126" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Are you housing wife too?</p><p></p><p>I suggest strongly that you read the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beatty. You are trying to save EVERYONE. In this process, nobody is changing for the better and growing up. All of these rescues, financial help, and attempts to give second third and fourth chances to ten year addict son have done nothing for him. This sort of help doesn't help. Your son is an addict for over ten years. Your daughter in law is dependent on you. No job?? Your grandkids are your responsibility too, I guess. One son volunteers in another country...where does he get money? Another son has to live in this mess. His guitar was stolen and brother gets away with it. Is this one old enough to move out?Don't you think it's a bad idea for grandchildren to interact in same home as heroin addict father? They know what their father is. </p><p></p><p>Is it your husband who won't see the truth?</p><p></p><p>Are you all in therapy?</p><p></p><p>Your son will come out of rehab still an addict. Heroin is hard to kick. What point is there in bringing him to your house to steal and behave badly in front of entire family? Make him clean for two years before you even let him in your house to steal.</p><p></p><p>Somebody has to take a brave step toward ending this unhealthy enmeshment. You can't live forever. Then what? </p><p></p><p>I hope you take steps to change so that this sickness of all can start to heal. Therapy, Al Anon, anything except one big Codependent family wrapped around an addict who still steals from his family. It takes bold steps to change. If you don't change your need to care for everyone, things will stay as is or get worse as grandkids get older and likely also turn to what they know best..drug use and family tolerance of it. It is their normal. Dad gets sympathy, no consequences. They know this. Mother is helpless. They know this. Where is a strong role model?</p><p></p><p>I wish you strength. With all my heart. This needs to end or it won't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 726126, member: 1550"] Are you housing wife too? I suggest strongly that you read the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beatty. You are trying to save EVERYONE. In this process, nobody is changing for the better and growing up. All of these rescues, financial help, and attempts to give second third and fourth chances to ten year addict son have done nothing for him. This sort of help doesn't help. Your son is an addict for over ten years. Your daughter in law is dependent on you. No job?? Your grandkids are your responsibility too, I guess. One son volunteers in another country...where does he get money? Another son has to live in this mess. His guitar was stolen and brother gets away with it. Is this one old enough to move out?Don't you think it's a bad idea for grandchildren to interact in same home as heroin addict father? They know what their father is. Is it your husband who won't see the truth? Are you all in therapy? Your son will come out of rehab still an addict. Heroin is hard to kick. What point is there in bringing him to your house to steal and behave badly in front of entire family? Make him clean for two years before you even let him in your house to steal. Somebody has to take a brave step toward ending this unhealthy enmeshment. You can't live forever. Then what? I hope you take steps to change so that this sickness of all can start to heal. Therapy, Al Anon, anything except one big Codependent family wrapped around an addict who still steals from his family. It takes bold steps to change. If you don't change your need to care for everyone, things will stay as is or get worse as grandkids get older and likely also turn to what they know best..drug use and family tolerance of it. It is their normal. Dad gets sympathy, no consequences. They know this. Mother is helpless. They know this. Where is a strong role model? I wish you strength. With all my heart. This needs to end or it won't. [/QUOTE]
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Need clarity on this situation; stealing and lying and rehab
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