Happy New Year! (despite our struggles--) I'm writing because of some new developments in the drama involved with my heroin-addicted son who I mentioned just entered residential rehab after Christmas. We were happy about that, hoping things would finally start to get better. It seems, however, that thievery has now been added to the mix. My husband and I talked to our middle son by phone on Sunday. He works in a remote area of another country doing volunteer work, and we only get to talk to him every few weeks. We had sent him his new credit card (he keeps us as his U.S. mailing address), which had a $0 balance and he was going to use it on a trip he was taking. He asked if we had happened to use his card for anything before we sent it to him. We hadn't. He said that a $500 cash advance was taken from it in early November at a convenience store near our house. The only other person besides us and our youngest son, who is decidedly honest, who had access to the card was you-know-who. I had activated the card previously, and must have left it along with the PIN on my desk. My middle son is going to try to dispute the charges, but we don't know yet if that will be successful. Then yesterday, my youngest son discovered that his guitar was missing from his closet. This is a guitar that his grandmother (my mother) had bought for him a few years ago, so it had sentimental as well as monetary value. He rarely plays it, so doesn't know how long it's been gone. He's quite upset about it. So these two incidents are disturbing, and I guess we were all too trusting since he hadn't stolen anything from us since he was in high school over 10 years ago. He has a history of lying, but I thought he was over that, also. However, about a month ago he borrowed our car (with my permission) to go to a doctor's appointment, and didn't return until the next morning. The car reeked of marijuana. He claimed he was held up at gunpoint by two strangers, who drove the car around, smoked weed in it, and then returned it to him. Supposedly they had taken his cell phone, which is why he couldn't call us all night, and then returned that also. He later told his younger brother that the whole story was a lie, but he was driving around with his drug dealers all night. I confronted him later and said I didn't believe his story, but he still said it was the truth. I talked to my husband after these latest discoveries, and he said, "Yes, our son has a problem. Addiction will make you do things like that. But let's hope this rehab does the trick." He's just way too low-key about it in my opinion. But I'm thinking, we need to decide right now that he's not coming back to live with us! I'm done being sympathetic to our son, and feel like he's abused our trust by lying to us and stealing things from his brothers. I was up last night thinking about how to secure the few other valuable items in our household if he comes back, like my laptop and a bit of jewelry. It's so disappointing, and I feel like I need to be the bad guy and convince my husband that we shouldn't let him live with us again. I just think it would be easier to cut the cord now instead of letting him come back and get comfortable again. Of course, husband will argue that we shouldn't pull the rug out from under him when he's just getting out of rehab, and that we need to give him a chance to make amends and prove himself and get back on his feet again. Ugh--who's right in this situation, and why does this all have to be so difficult?