Drugs…I’m not sure it will ever end.


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She told grandson that in an accident we would then be able to make life and death decisions regarding grandson and she didn’t like that.
The way I understand things is that if any of us is in an accident or has an emergency illness and we are taken to the hospital, the emergency room doctors do whatever it takes to keep us alive. They don't wait for mothers or grandparents or husbands or wives. They decide for themselves what will save any patient. So the thing is, already your daughter in very many cases, can't make life-or-death decisions.

The more I think about this the more ridiculous it is. I mean, any doctor is going to do whatever it takes to save a child, despite what a parent or anybody else says. It sounds like your daughter-in-law doesn't want you or your husband to have power. How frustrating.

The thing is she is playing with fire because if she is abusing those kids for her benefit and ego and it sure seems like she is, she does not have that right. I pray that the more everybody talks to CPS the more all the kids will talk. I don't see how CPS doesn't see it like we do. I mean, no food? No school?

I don't want to scare you but the desolation and hopelessness of your grandaughter's poem scares me. I believe she needs to see a professional to be evaluated and for intervention. (I believe she needs to talk regularly with a good child therapist.)
Husband and I may have to hire a family law attorney.
I think this may be a good idea. An attorney may be able to help you advocate for these children.

New Leaf

Well-Known Member
Dear LMS,
I’m so sorry for the heartache of all of this. I know how it feels to know that our grands are suffering.
Sad that she feels no one is there for her. She’s 14 and this is what she writes alone late at night.
I pray we can stand behind her and back up the position she’s in. She also told me that she looks forward to staying with us so she can “start living instead of just being alive.”
Though so difficult to read, the fact that your granddaughter is sharing her reality with you is a positive sign that she is trusting you and letting you know what is really going on. That’s huge, LMS. She is trusting you. I hope she is able to speak this truth with CPS workers.
Mom likes to have all the authority without any of the responsibility. She acted this way being next of kin during our son’s funeral arrangements too. Even at one point told the funeral director that he was not to speak to us again without her permission (texted him at 2:30am!)
I am so sorry. What a thing to deal with for you and your husband, grieving the loss of your son. It is telling that she is delusional.

And she collected on a wrongful death claim in regard's to the woman who hit our son on the highway.
Now she collects our son’s social security on each of our grandchildren.
She is cunning. She knows the system. Her kids are cash cows.

My grandson told me last week that they once went 4 months without barely eating.
My grands came to my home as youngsters, with voracious appetites and food hoarding. They suffered the same. Their parents qualified for EBT, but would sell off their benefits. They would buy food for their friends, who would pay half the value of it in cash. That’s how my grands parents paid for their drug habit. My grands were left eating scraps and saimin at the end of each month.

Point being that mom uses the kids to her benefit and throws her weight around to everyone regarding custody.
She is protecting her “assets”. Its awful.

We’ll see if CPS drops the ball or not.
Husband and I may have to hire a family law attorney. Our grandchildren have suffered long enough.
I’m hoping that CPS will step up, that may take going to a supervisor. Hopefully your grands will feel confident enough to open up and let CPS, or a lawyer know what is really going on. I spoke with CPS (dead end, again) then legal aid when my grands opened up to me about the abuse at their grandparents home. But the wheels got turning with CPS when my grandson had appendicitis and his grandparents came to the hospital and were quite hostile. They were forced to leave and the nurse asked my grandson if he was afraid of them, if they hit him. He said yes. CPS had to act, too many eyes on them. Police were called and they interviewed my grandson ( that was procedure so that the State could take custody). It was not an easy thing to go through, but my grands had already decided that they had enough abuse.

Occasional weekend visits with our grandchildren sure didn’t tell the whole story. And they’ve been trained to cover for mom.
This has been my experience as well. The secretiveness, covering up. It’s a hard road to travel for these kids, fiercely loyal to their parent, yet knowing that they are mistreated. It took awhile for my grands to come forward. Even then they were scared and confused. Your older grands are at an age where they can see through their Moms charade. I think your stepping in has given them a reason to hope and break through the barriers that their Mom has built. How you have described your granddaughter in previous posts shows her intelligence and resilience. Hopefully she will stand up for herself and her siblings and share her story with authorities. Sounds like she has carried much of the burden of becoming a “parent” at a young age.
Hang in there, LMS, it seems that your grands are ready to come forward and stand up for themselves. Praying this is so and that their Uncle is able to help sort this mess out.
New Leaf


Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry for your grands...your granddaughter seems like a smart young lady. At 14 people should listen to her! DcF needs to talk to the older kids separately, privately...

The system is broken. Breaks my heart.


Well-Known Member
Copa yes…granddaughter is desperate for counseling. She made it clear to me yesterday that if she is to live with us she will need it. Her mom won’t get counseling for the kids.

New Leaf…thank you for sharing your own experience with me. I appreciate your concern so much and your prayers.
You are clearly a wonderful person and I know your granddaughter is so blessed to be raised by you now.
Praying for you all too as you are waiting to see how things work out for your Tornado.

Ksm…I agree the system is broken. My husband sarcastically jokes that apparently if there are no axe murderers in the house at the time of their interviews all is fine in their eyes.


Well-Known Member

CPS can’t tell me anything further. They are only talking to mom at this point. They still haven’t wrapped up their case. I can only text my grandchildren at this point.

Interestingly enough, dear husband and I showed up at the cemetery on our son’s birthday and guess who was there with both of of our granddaughters??! Yep. The mom!

I think she carries a lot of guilt over our son’s death because she is the one that tossed him out into the streets years ago while pursuing another man and then having another child with that man. She also went on to having even another child with another man all while still married to our son.

When I got out of our car with flowers and a plaque she realized it was me and immediately walked towards me to hug me and tell me she loves me. Strange.

I took a few pictures with my granddaughters behind the headstone and then turned to leave after I hugged them and told them I loved them.

Mom followed me and I told her “this is not an attack on you. It is to help the kids.”
She said, “what are you talking about.”

I told her the CPS thing and that the kids want counseling and granddaughter wants to play tennis. Grandson wants to play football. They both need a normal education. They need a chance to have a successful future.

She got visibly upset. Raised her voice and said I’m sorry I can’t raise my kids like y’all would like to raise them but we are a family!

Then we parted ways. Dear husband never got out of the car as he didn’t want a confrontation with the mom.

So we are in limbo waiting on a CPS decision.
Thank you for asking KSM.
How are your granddaughter and great grandson doing now? What is your update?



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We got the decision from CPS today. They are doing nothing to help our grandchildren. I have started a gofundme page to raise the $8,500 we need for the family law firm lawyer.
One thing I can say about my son’s death is that I grew a backbone! I will fight now for my grandchildren! They have suffered so much trauma in their young lives…it’s a very sad situation.


Well-Known Member
Thank you Copa.

My oldest grandson cannot sleep right now…just like me. He is writing a list of every bad thing that’s happened to him by his mom and sending it to me.

I started crying tonight with my husband about my granddaughter…middle child. She so desperately wants counseling and to heal from the trauma she’s experienced growing up with her mom. Not to mention losing her dad 2 years ago. She told me today that living with us and getting opportunities for a future are a bonus but what she really wants (and her mom won’t get it for her) is counseling. She is the one who wrote the poem about being a pawn. She has a heart of gold. Just precious.

I could not live with myself if I did not do everything within my power to help my grandchildren.

Again thank you Copa. I really appreciate it. ❤️