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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 668207" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Honey I know, most of us do, how much it hurts to know you put your son out. I put mine out at 19, literally with a suitcase to his name! He was in a homeless shelter. He didn't have money for hotels, a car, or anyway to buy food. Mine has never even been as awful toward me as yours has been to you, but he was 19, grown, and was warned over and over that we would not live in a prison, locking things up, out of fear he'd steal them. He didn't listen. When he's been at his worst, I've agonized over whether I did the right thing. But most of the time, I believe I did.</p><p> </p><p>Think of why you put him out. Your signature says, "<em>Kicked out of house for smoking pot, breaking house rules, being disrespectful." </em>Think about the details. If I recall, he continually refused to help you with anything, wouldn't pay rent, wouldn't contribute, stayed out all night, slept all day, brought drugs into your home, got fired from his job...or do I remember wrong? </p><p> </p><p>You did nothing wrong. NO ONE has the right to expect you to put us with that behavior from a grown man. Would you let anyone who is not your son treat you like that? I wouldn't. </p><p> </p><p>I wish I could help. Best I can do is tell you that there are times when I do a mental run-down of all the chances my son had to straighten up. When he went to school. When we let him come back. When he got his job. He could have straightened up at the shelter. We got him an apartment after that...this list goes on. It helps me to remember that HE had all these chances, and he didn't take them. It's on HIM, not YOU, to change his life.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 668207, member: 17309"] Honey I know, most of us do, how much it hurts to know you put your son out. I put mine out at 19, literally with a suitcase to his name! He was in a homeless shelter. He didn't have money for hotels, a car, or anyway to buy food. Mine has never even been as awful toward me as yours has been to you, but he was 19, grown, and was warned over and over that we would not live in a prison, locking things up, out of fear he'd steal them. He didn't listen. When he's been at his worst, I've agonized over whether I did the right thing. But most of the time, I believe I did. Think of why you put him out. Your signature says, "[I]Kicked out of house for smoking pot, breaking house rules, being disrespectful." [/I]Think about the details. If I recall, he continually refused to help you with anything, wouldn't pay rent, wouldn't contribute, stayed out all night, slept all day, brought drugs into your home, got fired from his job...or do I remember wrong? You did nothing wrong. NO ONE has the right to expect you to put us with that behavior from a grown man. Would you let anyone who is not your son treat you like that? I wouldn't. I wish I could help. Best I can do is tell you that there are times when I do a mental run-down of all the chances my son had to straighten up. When he went to school. When we let him come back. When he got his job. He could have straightened up at the shelter. We got him an apartment after that...this list goes on. It helps me to remember that HE had all these chances, and he didn't take them. It's on HIM, not YOU, to change his life. Hugs for your hurting heart. [/QUOTE]
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