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<blockquote data-quote="Seeking Peace" data-source="post: 668231" data-attributes="member: 19374"><p>SeaGenie,</p><p></p><p>Although I haven't been in your exact situation, I have absolutely been the one always to blame!! We really start to question whether it's our fault too....</p><p></p><p>Reading about how you wonder about God giving you no more than you can handle, or feeling like you're cursed and being punished. I do get that! I've said the same exact words. </p><p></p><p>Here's what I will say:</p><p></p><p>1) nothing you did or did not do caused this</p><p>2) your son was behaving the same exact way living in your home. If he was there still, it'd be no different. You're just not bailing him out. </p><p>3) the time for 'parenting' has passed. He's 23. A grown man. </p><p></p><p>Stand firm. You are not to blame. You are not wrong for putting him out. </p><p></p><p>I, too, put my 20 yr old daughter out of the home. I drew a solid line the last time we allowed her to move back, and she not only crossed it, she did so with utter manipulation and disrespect. Being a parent doesn't mean you must allow your child to treat you that way, especially an adult child. </p><p></p><p>It's heartbreaking, it's really hard, but really what are we truly teaching them if we constantly backtrack and make exceptions. </p><p></p><p>Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. </p><p></p><p>He's not alone. Lots of resources out there available should he want it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Seeking Peace, post: 668231, member: 19374"] SeaGenie, Although I haven't been in your exact situation, I have absolutely been the one always to blame!! We really start to question whether it's our fault too.... Reading about how you wonder about God giving you no more than you can handle, or feeling like you're cursed and being punished. I do get that! I've said the same exact words. Here's what I will say: 1) nothing you did or did not do caused this 2) your son was behaving the same exact way living in your home. If he was there still, it'd be no different. You're just not bailing him out. 3) the time for 'parenting' has passed. He's 23. A grown man. Stand firm. You are not to blame. You are not wrong for putting him out. I, too, put my 20 yr old daughter out of the home. I drew a solid line the last time we allowed her to move back, and she not only crossed it, she did so with utter manipulation and disrespect. Being a parent doesn't mean you must allow your child to treat you that way, especially an adult child. It's heartbreaking, it's really hard, but really what are we truly teaching them if we constantly backtrack and make exceptions. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. He's not alone. Lots of resources out there available should he want it. [/QUOTE]
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