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Need help adult daughter wont talk to me.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 661971" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is the thing Lioness. That you do not want to accept. A relationship involves two people. It cannot be with just one. The fact that this is unbearable to you does not change this one bit.</p><p></p><p>You do not control your daughter. You cannot make her love you or to feel love for you.</p><p></p><p>Whether you want this bad situation. Whether you like this bad situation. Matters not at all to her.</p><p></p><p>She gets to decide for her. And you for yourself.</p><p></p><p>She will always control herself. She will always do as she wishes. It may be wrong. She may be wrong. She may love you underneath and become agonized when you die. Or not.</p><p></p><p>You must accept that it is as it is. Or you will suffer.</p><p></p><p>I am not saying that your suffering is not important. It is important to you. I surely wish you did not suffer. But your suffering will not change one thing in the reality of things with your daughter.</p><p></p><p>The reality is that your daughter does not choose to be in a loving relationship with you. That makes you sad. What on earth can you do to make her act loving? Is there one thing that you can think of?</p><p></p><p>Of course you do not have to accept the reality of things. You can continue to beg her...and allow yourself to be hurt and demeaned.</p><p></p><p>I wish this was not the situation for you. It is. There is nobody that can help you find a way to magically make her do as you want, to love you.</p><p></p><p>Either continue to suffer or accept it and go on. Those are the only choices that you have. I wish things were different. That you could make her into somebody she does not want to be. There is not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 661971, member: 18958"] This is the thing Lioness. That you do not want to accept. A relationship involves two people. It cannot be with just one. The fact that this is unbearable to you does not change this one bit. You do not control your daughter. You cannot make her love you or to feel love for you. Whether you want this bad situation. Whether you like this bad situation. Matters not at all to her. She gets to decide for her. And you for yourself. She will always control herself. She will always do as she wishes. It may be wrong. She may be wrong. She may love you underneath and become agonized when you die. Or not. You must accept that it is as it is. Or you will suffer. I am not saying that your suffering is not important. It is important to you. I surely wish you did not suffer. But your suffering will not change one thing in the reality of things with your daughter. The reality is that your daughter does not choose to be in a loving relationship with you. That makes you sad. What on earth can you do to make her act loving? Is there one thing that you can think of? Of course you do not have to accept the reality of things. You can continue to beg her...and allow yourself to be hurt and demeaned. I wish this was not the situation for you. It is. There is nobody that can help you find a way to magically make her do as you want, to love you. Either continue to suffer or accept it and go on. Those are the only choices that you have. I wish things were different. That you could make her into somebody she does not want to be. There is not. [/QUOTE]
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