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Need help adult daughter wont talk to me.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 661974" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Who knows? She may not know. It may be a manipulation. It may be cruelty. It may be ambivalence. Or guilt. What does it matter, why she does it? If you knew the meaning, the whys, what would you do different? Would you run to her and try to talk her out of it? Do you think this would make a difference? It would make it worse, I think.</p><p>What are your options, Lioness? You might run into them. You can follow them. You can move. Or you can accept that you do not control her or the situation.</p><p>You decide, Lioness.</p><p></p><p>I am in the same boat. I feel I cannot live with my son in trouble. I want to die because he may die.</p><p></p><p>What in the world can I do? At least in my case there may be legal means whereby I can control him. At great cost. He would hate me. He would fight me. I would take away any autonomy he has or potential to have an independent life. Could I live with this, Lioness? I do not think so.</p><p></p><p>People face situations all of the time that they hate and cannot endure. I think what we are going through is the stages of grief. Who is the theorist, Elizabeth Kuber-Ross I think her name is? I think we are stuck at an early stage of grief.</p><p></p><p>Lioness, I saw your clarification, that there were no overnights. </p><p></p><p>Lioness, while we may be believers, there is no eternal judge that is watching with the power to decide what is the just thing for your daughter to do with respect to the baby...and make your daughter do it.</p><p></p><p>Whether I <u><em><strong>or anybody </strong></em></u>knows the ugly and cruel details of the situation MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. She will decide.</p><p></p><p>She chooses it. She will do as she wants. You or anybody cannot change it. Actually, I do not know if in your country grandparents have legal rights to some contact. They may. That would be the only way I can think of that you have any control. There is that possibility.</p><p></p><p>How you fill your life and what you do with it are the only things that you have control. Not one thing more.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 661974, member: 18958"] Who knows? She may not know. It may be a manipulation. It may be cruelty. It may be ambivalence. Or guilt. What does it matter, why she does it? If you knew the meaning, the whys, what would you do different? Would you run to her and try to talk her out of it? Do you think this would make a difference? It would make it worse, I think. What are your options, Lioness? You might run into them. You can follow them. You can move. Or you can accept that you do not control her or the situation. You decide, Lioness. I am in the same boat. I feel I cannot live with my son in trouble. I want to die because he may die. What in the world can I do? At least in my case there may be legal means whereby I can control him. At great cost. He would hate me. He would fight me. I would take away any autonomy he has or potential to have an independent life. Could I live with this, Lioness? I do not think so. People face situations all of the time that they hate and cannot endure. I think what we are going through is the stages of grief. Who is the theorist, Elizabeth Kuber-Ross I think her name is? I think we are stuck at an early stage of grief. Lioness, I saw your clarification, that there were no overnights. Lioness, while we may be believers, there is no eternal judge that is watching with the power to decide what is the just thing for your daughter to do with respect to the baby...and make your daughter do it. Whether I [U][I][B]or anybody [/B][/I][/U]knows the ugly and cruel details of the situation MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. She will decide. She chooses it. She will do as she wants. You or anybody cannot change it. Actually, I do not know if in your country grandparents have legal rights to some contact. They may. That would be the only way I can think of that you have any control. There is that possibility. How you fill your life and what you do with it are the only things that you have control. Not one thing more. [/QUOTE]
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