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Need help adult daughter wont talk to me.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 661981" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Lioness, you remind me of myself. I used to describe myself as a mother bear. In protecting and fighting for my son and his interests I was relentless. I would never give up.</p><p></p><p>I am not speaking from helplessness. I am speaking from my sense of what reality is.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is a separate person now. She can decide for herself what she wants. She can say no, and you cannot override her. She is an adult now. She sees her interests as separate from yours. She has decided for whatever reason to oppose you on the matter of contact with her, and contact with your granddaughter.</p><p></p><p>Now you are in a situation where you are no longer fighting for your child. You would be fighting her. You would be fighting her right to make a decision about her relationship with you. You would be fighting her in her determination to make decisions about her child.</p><p></p><p>She has the legal and moral right to make decisions that involve her child. Not you. This is reality. A reality that you can respect or not.</p><p></p><p>If you continue to fight her as indeed you have a right to do, you will have to accept that she may dig in further, against you. That this situation could worsen.</p><p></p><p>Indeed, there is a sense of helplessness that we can no longer make our adult children do what we want and need them to do. In my case it is difficult because I only want my son to be able to live.</p><p></p><p>But there is a power in this as well.</p><p></p><p>At any point we can decide that we do have power over ourselves. We can decide unilaterally over things that concern us.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for the opportunity for clarifying my thoughts. Of course we can only speak for ourselves or know for ourselves. No one else.</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 661981, member: 18958"] Lioness, you remind me of myself. I used to describe myself as a mother bear. In protecting and fighting for my son and his interests I was relentless. I would never give up. I am not speaking from helplessness. I am speaking from my sense of what reality is. Your daughter is a separate person now. She can decide for herself what she wants. She can say no, and you cannot override her. She is an adult now. She sees her interests as separate from yours. She has decided for whatever reason to oppose you on the matter of contact with her, and contact with your granddaughter. Now you are in a situation where you are no longer fighting for your child. You would be fighting her. You would be fighting her right to make a decision about her relationship with you. You would be fighting her in her determination to make decisions about her child. She has the legal and moral right to make decisions that involve her child. Not you. This is reality. A reality that you can respect or not. If you continue to fight her as indeed you have a right to do, you will have to accept that she may dig in further, against you. That this situation could worsen. Indeed, there is a sense of helplessness that we can no longer make our adult children do what we want and need them to do. In my case it is difficult because I only want my son to be able to live. But there is a power in this as well. At any point we can decide that we do have power over ourselves. We can decide unilaterally over things that concern us. Thank you for the opportunity for clarifying my thoughts. Of course we can only speak for ourselves or know for ourselves. No one else. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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