Need help on life parenting situation

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Tonia Fajardo, Mar 22, 2017.

  1. 2mommalove

    2mommalove New Member

    What can I do about my life situation because I sure don't now any more what to do I am so stressed out nd I arguing with my older son nd my husband nd I love both of my boys nd my husband nd i do think about My little one too but I am not going to kick my older son out in the streets that he can get killed or shot or jump yes he has a mouth on him nd when he is mad yes he threatens but never done it nd yes he calls the cops on his self too nd I am try to get him out in a good reason way but I am doing this on my own no help of works only mine nd his worker from regional center will not help him to get works nd programs started in till he graduate high school so I am do things on my own so if any one has good advice that I haven't done yet I like to hear it nd please no negativity comments I hear that from my husband nd cops too so please no rude comments thank u
     
  2. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Welcome, Tonia. I suggest that you change your screenname to something more private. I don't think anyone here will be rude to you as we are all parents with difficult children. We understand how hard it is, and we make an attempt to help each other. We don't want to attack each other and make it harder.

    It sounds like your older son is having trouble. I know you want him to graduate from high school. You mention the arguments that your family is having. What else is going on with your oldest? How old is he? How does he do in school? Why is your son calling the cops? Does your son have a medical diagnosis? Sometimes when we have a kid who gets off track, they have issues like ADHD, autism, or something else which makes school or life in general a bit more difficult for them.

    How has your younger son been affected by your older son's behavior? Is he doing okay?

    I am so sorry that you are stressed out. I hope that by "talking" to us here that maybe you will find some ideas that you hadn't thought of before. At the very least, you will find empathy and meet people who have similar stories.
     
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  3. Praecepta

    Praecepta Active Member

    You are asking for advice... Then telling us what we can and can't say? This is something you can work on - be open to all advice for a start.

    Might want to mention here the advice you are getting but not listening to? (From husband and the police.)
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    If you wont make him leave, there is nothing you can do. He is what he is. You just have tto deal with it. I am sorry. He can get killed while living in your house too just by going out and being with dangerous people. And you can get hurt or killed too. And others in your house can be victims too. Not sure what you want us to say that is positive. Hes not a child. You cant change him.

    Not being negative on purpose. Just realiatic. There is no happy ending here if this is your stand.

    The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expectiing different results. I am sorry.
     
  5. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Tonia.

    The situation you describe is common to many of us: torn between protecting our children and being tormented by them when they act in ways that are self-destructive and destructive to others.

    I agree with pigless: the more specific you are about history, incidents, specific conflicts in the family, the more we may be able to support you.

    As far as rudeness and meanness goes, you will find it here as anywhere. There is a way to block the posts of people who find it necessary to be negative, snarky or judgmental. You will see at the top of the page your user name (I recommend too that you change yours.) Click your name above and you will find a list of possible options. One will say: people you ignore. You can then enter the name(s) of people whose posts you choose to ignore.

    There are people who seem to want to (or need to) hurt others to feel superior or to put their vulnerability in others. Who knows? You are not wrong to set a boundary and to call it out for what it is.

    I hope you keep posting. You will find that posting helps you by enabling you to look objectively at your own situation, which gives each of us the chance to evaluate it and change what needs to be changed. There is support to be found here.

    Take care.
     
  6. 2mommalove

    2mommalove New Member

    Hi copabanana I tried to change my name but don't now how nd I am trying something else to see if this works with my older son he is 18 nd has a lot of disabilities
     
  7. 2mommalove

    2mommalove New Member

    Thank y nd I under stand
     
  8. 2mommalove

    2mommalove New Member

    I hope I am doing this right I change my user name Nd I am going to do something I have not tried with my older son nd my husband nd see if it works nd it better but let see how long but doing great right now nd let's see if the high school will help too thank y all for ur advice nd help thank u so much