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Need help sorting out typical tween stuff &
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 15024" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>I sometimes see things with my difficult child that I really wonder about. With him, there was no documented sexual abuse but there were questions. His older sister had been abused and acted out towards difficult child while they were still together but no one knows for sure what happened and he denies everything. But also based on the history of what he saw in the bio home, he does have a somewhat skewed (sp?) view on sex and nudity. With him, I've just kind of kept an eye on things, corrected him when I felt he needed it and brought it up privately to his counselor if it really concerned me. husband and I also aren't shy about commenting to/around him about appropriate behavior or what people will think if you act like such and such/say this or that or what is an appropriate joke/comment to make. I know husband has also talked with him more than once about the right way to treat women and how to act towards them. Not necessarily in a corrective manner, just "those" talks that fathers have with their sons. It's not that difficult child is constantly inappropriate, I just think that when he was younger and in his birth home, he never saw good examples and after his removal from the home, I don't think anyone thought to really make it a priority to adjust his view of the world so to speak. When we got him, we discovered very quickly that we would have to do things a little differently for a while. I babysat our niece occasionally at the time and she was about 2 or 3. Even seeing her streak through the house nekkid once when she escaped the bathroom at bath time just completely, way over the top grossed him out. Now, years later, he's much better with things like that. If he happened to see a friends small child "streak" or even a diaper change, he either thinks it's (appropriately) cute or is matter of fact about it. (unless it's a "stinky" diaper of course! lol) </p><p></p><p>From what I've read about the tweedles, I'm guessing their situation was on a level way above what my difficult child's was but I understan your concern. I think a good part of how you handle things like this is just common sense. So many kids today, boys and girls alike, are so bombarded with this type of behavior that's presented to them as the "norm" that even kids without a history can be confused or influenced. Obviously, Kt is going to require a slighty different hand in her guidence through this type of thing but go with your gut. If it makes you uncomfortable, act. You and husband know her best. It's not always easy to tell what is normal for the age or what could be over the top, especially if you've never experienced the so-called normal. But, to me anyway, this situation kind of falls into the category of one to watch no matter what. </p><p></p><p>After all of this rambling, I guess what I'm trying to say is go with your gut. You know her best, her history, her unique personality as well as her own boundaries and limitations.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 15024, member: 2459"] I sometimes see things with my difficult child that I really wonder about. With him, there was no documented sexual abuse but there were questions. His older sister had been abused and acted out towards difficult child while they were still together but no one knows for sure what happened and he denies everything. But also based on the history of what he saw in the bio home, he does have a somewhat skewed (sp?) view on sex and nudity. With him, I've just kind of kept an eye on things, corrected him when I felt he needed it and brought it up privately to his counselor if it really concerned me. husband and I also aren't shy about commenting to/around him about appropriate behavior or what people will think if you act like such and such/say this or that or what is an appropriate joke/comment to make. I know husband has also talked with him more than once about the right way to treat women and how to act towards them. Not necessarily in a corrective manner, just "those" talks that fathers have with their sons. It's not that difficult child is constantly inappropriate, I just think that when he was younger and in his birth home, he never saw good examples and after his removal from the home, I don't think anyone thought to really make it a priority to adjust his view of the world so to speak. When we got him, we discovered very quickly that we would have to do things a little differently for a while. I babysat our niece occasionally at the time and she was about 2 or 3. Even seeing her streak through the house nekkid once when she escaped the bathroom at bath time just completely, way over the top grossed him out. Now, years later, he's much better with things like that. If he happened to see a friends small child "streak" or even a diaper change, he either thinks it's (appropriately) cute or is matter of fact about it. (unless it's a "stinky" diaper of course! lol) From what I've read about the tweedles, I'm guessing their situation was on a level way above what my difficult child's was but I understan your concern. I think a good part of how you handle things like this is just common sense. So many kids today, boys and girls alike, are so bombarded with this type of behavior that's presented to them as the "norm" that even kids without a history can be confused or influenced. Obviously, Kt is going to require a slighty different hand in her guidence through this type of thing but go with your gut. If it makes you uncomfortable, act. You and husband know her best. It's not always easy to tell what is normal for the age or what could be over the top, especially if you've never experienced the so-called normal. But, to me anyway, this situation kind of falls into the category of one to watch no matter what. After all of this rambling, I guess what I'm trying to say is go with your gut. You know her best, her history, her unique personality as well as her own boundaries and limitations. [/QUOTE]
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