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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 341830" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, he sounds a lot like my son even with the two disorders not being called exactly the same thing <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /> however enough is enough. He has to agree to get help, and it doesn't sound like he will. If he is screaming at you at age 26, um, no. If my son had screamed at me or his dad he wouldn't even have gotten a hearing. That just doesn't work. And if he is going to do nothing and think it's all your fault that is very non-productive.</p><p></p><p>I would NOT listen to that. If he says it, I'd hang up the phone. If he is with you and says it, I'd walk into another room. If he keeps saying it, I'd tell restrict all time with him. And I'd tell him first that "You are responsible for your choices. If you want to tell me that your choices are MY fault, I will choose not to listen to you." And I'd stick to it.</p><p></p><p>I think you're doing the right thing. Hang tough because babying him won't help. He has to do this himself, even if it is conquering mental illness. And he will never believe he has to do anything if he has YOU to abuse.</p><p></p><p>Take care of yourself, your marriage, your stepson, your friends, your hobbies...and if they have dissolved because of your son...make them priorities again. You need positives in your life or you are letting your son drag you down with him. You deserve to really let your hair down and enjoy this phase of your life. You raised your kids, and it's time to enjoy and pamper yourself <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 341830, member: 1550"] Well, he sounds a lot like my son even with the two disorders not being called exactly the same thing :raspberry-tounge: however enough is enough. He has to agree to get help, and it doesn't sound like he will. If he is screaming at you at age 26, um, no. If my son had screamed at me or his dad he wouldn't even have gotten a hearing. That just doesn't work. And if he is going to do nothing and think it's all your fault that is very non-productive. I would NOT listen to that. If he says it, I'd hang up the phone. If he is with you and says it, I'd walk into another room. If he keeps saying it, I'd tell restrict all time with him. And I'd tell him first that "You are responsible for your choices. If you want to tell me that your choices are MY fault, I will choose not to listen to you." And I'd stick to it. I think you're doing the right thing. Hang tough because babying him won't help. He has to do this himself, even if it is conquering mental illness. And he will never believe he has to do anything if he has YOU to abuse. Take care of yourself, your marriage, your stepson, your friends, your hobbies...and if they have dissolved because of your son...make them priorities again. You need positives in your life or you are letting your son drag you down with him. You deserve to really let your hair down and enjoy this phase of your life. You raised your kids, and it's time to enjoy and pamper yourself :winking: [/QUOTE]
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